A question.

I do not wish to seem to be judging. Please do not believe this of me. I question because I do not understand. Perhaps I only have an improper perception.

I have been searching blogs for other Navy wives. I have noticed differences of enlisted and officer wives blogs. First, officer wives rarely seem to blog. Second, enlisted wive's blogs seem to exist only to complain of the Navy and celebrate when they believe they have beaten the Navy in some small way.. Third, I have discovered that my comment posted here earlier was not totally accurate. To be sure there are some that needlessly use swearing but there are enough so I need not concern myself with them.

For the first, I ask myself should I blog? Is there perhaps something I should know that I do not? I would believe as long as I am careful there is no threat to my Lt's career. I know there are those who watch details to make a picture of events. I know not to speak of my Lt's ship and its activities. I know too that because I am of Chinese origin, I am watched more closely. It is common sense for that to be. I believe I will continue to blog only being very careful what it is I write. You will not hear of ship activities unless made public by the Navy.

For the second, I understand there may be things I do not understand of the Navy. But I also know, even though I have not been a Navy wife long, there are many benefits. Many have experienced deployments. I soon will experience for myself. But does complaining of it change it? I am at a beautiful base with much to do. It will not replace my Lt but it will ease the separation. There is Dorothy to socialize with. There is my volunteer classes.

It seems to me these other wives simply do not have enough to do.

For the third, I have decided to edit this. Upon searching for more blogs, I was pleased to discover many that were of higher standards. I still do not understand the first ones I discovered but at the least there are others to read that have no visual trauma. I also found one that answered my question quite well without me having to ask it. She had almost the same question.

As I seek to more understand my new place, I am sure I will have more questions of things but I hope to seem more intelligent than I am by reading others first. Then, I will need ask fewer questions thus looking more intelligent! ;)

An Attempt Made

It has been almost a full week. One may not say I did not give my best effort.

I began my night at his back for each night. I awoke at his chest with his arms around me each morning. This was not my doing.

It seems he has chosen how we will sleep. I will not disagree with him. :)

Selfish...

I have discovered today I have been concerned of only myself to the expense of my friend.

For curiosity, I sought an old email account I haven't looked to for a very long time. There I discovered an email from my longest friend from blogging. In it I was invited to spend lunch with them before I traveled.

I am able to imagine how I would think to make such an invitation only to be met with silence. I know it would hurt me deeply. I am terrified they would think such a thing also. One would think I am of sufficient age and intelligence to know to see to these things properly.

To ask forgiveness for this offense seems too light but it is all I am able to do. Know that I anguish of this neglect.

Teacher

I will now be called Laoshi.

I have volunteered to teach violin at the recreation center twice each week. There are more than a few wishing to learn. The ages of students will be school age in the first class and adults in the second class.

I was surprised to discover the number of adults wishing to learn. All that remains now is to discover how many adults are willing to learn.

Caught!

Today my mood has been exceptionally cheerful.

I found music of my Lt's I have not heard before. Journey. Combine the music and my mood and you have me dancing around the house as I work.

I also had a visitor today. It seems the Commander and Dorothy decided to visit today. As the Commander and my Lt visited outside Dorothy came in to visit me. Caught. How long she stood there watching I do not know. She swears it was only a few moments. Why hide now? The large smile on her face showed she had seen much.

Without missing a step, I simply danced over to her and danced her to the table for tea. We enjoyed a good laugh of it.

Since my mood today was so well, and I was dancing about our house anyway, my Lt took me out for dinner and dancing. I enjoyed myself very much and wished for the evening to continue but my Lt is required at his work early tomorrow.

I have discovered what I will be doing for Halloween. There is to be a children's party on the base. Dorothy is leading it and has requested my help. I will need to wear a costume. I have one but it is for my Lt. ;) I will need another. Since traditional Chinese clothing is rarely seen I will wear my wedding dress with only my hair prepared. The veil is difficult to see through and not practical since I will be around small children. It will be difficult enough keeping the decorations in my hair.

Tonight, we will try a new way to sleep.

Another Early Morning

I find myself awake again. The good thing of it is I am able to watch the sunrise. Or watch my Lt sleep. Either is enjoyable for me.

Let me tell you of my Lt's wisdom. Last night there was a discussion of sleeping. My habit has been to snuggle as closely as I am able to my Lt. He wraps his arms around me and this is how I fall asleep. It is comfortable and reassuring.... to me. It seems he does not prefer it.

Here is his wisdom. He began by asking me if I love him. A silly question with an obvious answer I thought. He asked if I wish for him to perform his duties well. Another silly question with the obvious answer. I asked him why he asked me such questions. He told me he is tired from not sleeping well. "What keeps you from sleeping well?" I asked. "You." he replied.

 As I fall asleep on his arm he is afraid of waking me should he move. He enjoys sleeping closely but after a time his arm is numb. He believes he will disturb me because I seldom move once asleep and I sleep lightly so he will not remove his arm. He is concerned for my sleep as I have had difficulties since arriving.

We have decided to try sleeping a different way. I am unconcerned as long as I am close to him. I do enjoy him holding me closely but I prefer him to be his best. Perhaps I will hold him instead.

A wise way to begin an awkward conversation was it not? :)

He can also be foolish. My Lt offered me a new kitten. He worries I will miss Nangua. It is a well founded worry for I do miss him. But I know he will be well taken care of. Amanda is fond of him and will send me pictures.

But to get another kitten, knowing I will not be here long, is not good for the kitten. Should it know me as family only to be left with another? I could take it home with me but I point out the same reasons I did not bring Nangua with me. I believe the anxiety to be suffered by the cat in isolation is an unreasonable thing.

I would very much enjoy a new kitten but why should my preference cause such anxiety in an innocent cat's life?

It is a foolish idea that comes from a loving heart.

I found something for you Kat. strapya-world.com

Independance

I will now drive myself where I need to go. I possess a new USFJ Form 4EJ, otherwise know as a driver license. I do think for the now I will need a gps to find my way. I must also become accustomed to the small roads here. Many are only large enough for one car but they are considered for two.


I have been exploring the base this afternoon. I am surprised at what I have found. There is a Chili's restaurant and a Starbucks. I have always been told of bad military food but I have not found this to be true. The base Galley is as adept at preparing delicious meals as any fine restaurant. My Lt took me there for lunch today. Of course this is sensible to me that they would well train their chefs. Who would want to be a bad chef on a boat with 500 people and nowhere to hide?


A secret confession... rude gate guard must salute my car as I drive on to the base. I have entered several times during my afternoon. Not because there were places for me to be off base. I left the base only to re-enter for her to salute my car. I was kind. I smiled and waved to her each time. It is childish, I know. I promise I will not behave so tomorrow. Perhaps I will stop and apologize for my poor behavior. Perhaps.


I have decided I will like being here.

When???

When will I adjust to this time??? I fell asleep quickly but now find myself awake too early. I will remain awake and hope to find my bed late. Perhaps that will adjust me.

Today is the driver license class. I will ask my Lt to drive my car so I may drive it after the class. I am assuming I will pass. There is no reason I should not. I have been told the class is easy.

I am in the land of Hello Kitty! lol I thought of Kat immediately after seeing these!

I find myself curious of Halloween in Japan. I have enjoyed seeing small children in costume and their smiles as I gave them treats. I hope to see such things here. I will ask Dorothy of it. If necessary, I will stay on the base for the evening so that I may witness the children's costumes.

I have also discovered in spite of my love of  my new house, I have been advised "it would be best" to move onto the base as soon as housing is available. It seems the location of my house is inconvenient, I would not be as available. I will speak to my Lt of this but I think I will not leave my house so easily.

A meeting

I have a meeting this morning. It is for the base benevolence committee. I will volunteer. I only do not know what for yet.

I am told this is one of those things that is done as a good officer's wife.

New Car

I have a new car! I only require the license now!

Pretty yes?

No Sleep but An Answer

My body has not yet fully adjusted to Japan time. At the first, I thought it was insomnia returning but I have been reassured most everyone experiences the same. I will sip my tea and wait for its effects.

I have also discovered the cause for the Commander's wife's so soon visit. It seems my Lt and the Commander were both Coasties. Because of this the Commander has taken interest in helping my Lt "transition to the big navy." Dorothy's visit was at the request of the Commander.

It is uncomfortable to discover that one is the topic of discussions. Be they good or bad. I know there will be discussions of me. I am new. There will be questions of me. I have determined there will be no discussions of poor behavior I have displayed.

Mother has decided to return home. She has been strangely silent of the past days. I am sure she commits all events to her memory to make report to Father. It will be he who expresses his disapproval of my behavior. If this is the case I believe I will hide.

A Visit

There have been discussions elsewhere concerning me.

The commander's wife has visited. Her name is Dorothy. She seems a very kind person. She graciously listened to my fears for my previous day's behavior and reassured me no one will remember it past today.

I was told how I must behave when I am not at my home or when I am not among my closest friends.
It seems there is much for me to learn and she is willing to teach me. Tomorrow will be my first lesson. There is a meeting at the dining room. I am to remain at her side and watch carefully.

Thank you Jean for your words. To act upon them I will buy myself something to remind me of my position so that I will not bring shame to my Lt again. I will not permit myself to forget I am a naval officer's wife. I represent the US Navy. I represent my country.

I will learn all I am able to learn. I will be a Navy Wife.

I could not look him in his eye this morning.

I do not understand how I could fail him so completely.

Gate Guards

Today I walked through the main entrance gate on foot for the first time. Before doing so I observed the actions of those entering before me. They simply held up their identification and calmly proceeded through unmolested. I behave in the same manner as they.

I do not know why I attracted the attention of the guard. Her loud shouts informed me of her desire that I stop so I complied and proceeded no further. At this point my card remained in my hand and clearly visible. The guard approached still shouting at me that I was to proceed no further. (I believe it would be beyond obvious to state that I was now the center of attention of all passing through the gate) She continued shouting how I was supposed to show ID (I did) and was not to proceed until someone waved me through (someone did, he was quite nice) and how she could arrest me for not following her commands.

In the beginning, I was embarrassed and near tears. Then...... I do not know why..... I began... shouting at her. She would not address me in such a disrespectful tone and she would NEVER shout at me again and that MY husband would see to it. Unfortuntely, she understood none of this. I spoke in Chinese.

 See this picture... two women, one in uniform, one normal clothes, nose to nose, shouting, one in Chinese, one in English. See Nice Guard step between us with some difficulty and move me away to a small office at the side.

There I sat, angry still, until my Lt arrived with his Commander. His look was not one of happiness and served to cool my anger... some. My Lt and the Commander spoke with the guards for a short time then returned and collected me.

During the ride to the recreation center I was informed it was good to not accept disrespect but "as an officer's wife there is a certain decorum that is required else it could affect your husband's career. You should seek out other officer's wives to learn what is expected." I do not wish to affect my Lt's career so perhaps I should do that.

Now I sit here at the MWR waiting for my Lt to finish his duties for the day and bring me home. I feel as a child who has misbehaved and now faces discipline.

It is a poor first impression to my Lt's Commander. I am shamed by my behavior. I am sure my Lt is shamed by it.

Firsts...

My first trip to the Commissary. It was much like any grocery store though some things were missing. It is not that many aren't available. They are only in their own store. The prices were very good. Only few things were not available but I have been told I am able to request special items.

My first trip to the Officer's Club. It was... interesting. To be so full of people, it is a lonely place. I was welcomed by those my Lt knew. Their wives, when present, smiled and said hello. I almost froze to death from the coolness of these hellos. I believe I will not be there often. In contrast, the dinning room was very good. The staff was beyond competent and very friendly. They behaved as though I were there reason to exist. The food was prepared very well and was very delicious! I was sure to have my Lt tip them well.

Today will be my first trip to the Navy Exchange and the Furniture Outlet.

Good Morning!

Today my arranging begins. For the now we have furniture from Housing Services Center until my furniture arrives. It is ugly but it will serve temporarily. There are groceries to buy. We have a sponsor that is to pick me up this morning to take me to the commissary.

I would have thought my Lieutenant would have purchased a car before my arrival. Not that it would have changed today since I do not know my way. It also seems I must go to driving class if I wish to drive here. This is better than obtaining an international license. The cost of obtaining a Status of Forces license is free and the class is only 2 hours. I will attend class as soon as is possible.

Meanwhile, I will walk my new neighborhood.

I Have Arrived!

Good afternoon! I am now safely in Japan! Mother still sleeps. I will shame her for sleeping past noon! lol

There is much to do as I become accustomed to my new surroundings. I will keep you informed!

2 Days!

Only 2 days (well... a day and a morning) remain before I join my Lieutenant in Japan! ( I have beaten you to it Kat ;) ) I am eager and do not sleep as I should.

To Mother it is another long flight. I remind her she did not have to come to travel with me. She does not say but I suspect she believes I am unable to travel alone safely. I deserve this since I allowed her to view the movie "Taken." Cherry calls it a mother's "what if" game. I believe I will more carefully choose what movies around Mother in the future.

My Lieutenant promises me to greet me at the airport. "If I am late" he tells me "wait at the USO. I don't want you wandering around the airport." It seems he and Mother have watched the same movies.