Life Offended

Busy. It is a well used word. Many people use it carelessly. It is only because they do not wish to participate in some event; not because they are truly busy and they do not wish to offend.

I attempt to not do this. I will admit it is not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes, I just do not want to but fear offending someone. How do you say that without offending them?

I have read articles stating I should not fear offending others so much because most offense is from "political correctness." To some extent I tend to agree. Take the city of New York for an example. They are worried of offending people to the extent they have considered banning certain words from tests administered to students. They wish to avoid offending them by not using words that could give them negative thoughts of themselves.

Another example is a hyphenated nationality. Native-American, African-American, Asian-American, Chinese-American... For some reason unknown to me I am supposed to be offended being called simply and American. I refuse to be so.

Interestingly, some are offended because of my refusal to be offended. For what reason should I be offended? I worked very hard to become an American. I did not work so hard to be a Chinese-American. Should it not be left to me what I will be called?

It is my opinion that one may be an American that is of Native decent, or an American of African decent, or, as for me, an American of Chinese/Asian decent. I prefer to simply be called an American. If that idea offends you... well... that is for you to work through.

If it is your choice to live only to not offend, it is your choice. If it is your choice to find offense at every turn, that too is your choice. I choose to live. It is likely I will offend someone at some time and for that I will apologize when it is necessary. I will live with the thought that not everything is worth considering an offense. I will not be offended if you call me only an American. It is my preference. If you call me Chinese or Asian, I will not be offended. I will however correct you. ;-)

As Lt has said, I have turned down my sensitivity knob.

...... Hmmmm ......

Have you ever written a post without knowing what to title it? That is me today. I suppose that should be a warning to any who read that my subjects may wander.

First, motherhood has sent my life in to turmoil unsettled... ness (Is that a word?). What were once my habits have now been set aside in favor of new habits. For instance, no longer do I take my morning walk first. First, I must tend Chao Lei. This includes a diaper change and dressing, then feeding and burping. Then I must assemble what may be needed during the walk; extra diapers and wipes, extra milk (if there is none I must express more before we leave), the pram must be expanded, and obviously I must be dressed and my breakfast eaten.

Now one must combine all of that with education. I have a teaching schedule, a class schedule, and a research schedule. All of these must be accomplished if a doctorate is to be acquired. For most, this is not easy to do, nor should it be. Being awarded the highest degree in one's field is something to be earned then treasured. If it is acquired too easily it will not be treasured. But, add to this rigorous schedule caring for a child and the difficulty has be greatly increased.

I often ask myself if it would be best to stop working toward this and concentrate on Chao Lei. So far, I have not bee able to convince myself to do so. I know completing this degree will accomplish many things. It will cause me to be more marketable in my field. Additionally, It would make possible returning to Oregon and teaching at a college or university.

For Lt, it is good for him that I continue to improve myself. The military values education even in a spouse/dependent since it demonstrates an atmosphere of self improvement in his home. He wishes the challenge of command. I have been told my continuing education improves his chances even if only indirectly.

For Chao Lei, it gives him role models in both his parents. His father and I will strive to be the example of perseverance to attain his goals. We will not insist he become what we wish him to be. We will only insist he not stop working to be what it is he wishes to be. He will be taught what Father continually told me, "To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping." I could not stop and the effectively teach Chao Lei this.

Lt has returned from his "epic" cruise. The Navy decided since they left the dock they may as well spend time doing something constructive. It seems sailing approaches to Tokyo Bay is constructive.

Lt loves being at sea. He loves doing "Navy stuff." He did not enjoy this underway. I fact, he claims he was eager to return to port since he found it difficult to occupy himself during most of it. I will admit I am not unhappy with his return so soon.

Chao Lei is growing fast. It seems an exhausting task for him since this is what he does much of the time.

Soon enough he will become more challenging. I will enjoy this time while I may and know there will be other times to enjoy. Each one unique.

Storms

As one wife put it, "Storms suck." I believe her. Lt had to leave again.

Why? An approaching storm. It seems ships are better in storms at sea than in port. Ok. I am able to understand that. So that the ship may weather the storm more safely, they sailed all the way to... wait for this... the middle of Tokyo Bay. Yes, that far. They even called it an underway. Of course, the Navy couldn't just return to port after the storm passed. Someone sitting in a desk far away said "Well, since you left port anyway..." Who knows when they will return.

 I do not mention this to complain. I find it humorous. It was almost the shortest cruise yet for Lt. I could have reminded him in the coming years of the great cruise of 2013 when they sailed 1.5 miles and how taxing it must have been for him during that terrible storm that had blistering winds of 35 knots!

 Alas, those stories are not to be since the Navy decided to take advantage of the time away from the pier. I understand. Even to leave the pier costs money and time. Why shouldn't they use it wisely.

 Here is a picture of the ship riding out this terrible storm. It was horrible. I am only pleased he survived.

Ugh.... Again

I have a cold. The cough began last night but I thought little of it. It seemed only a small cough easily explained by pollution or dust. After all, I did spend considerable time down town in mid-day when traffic is heavy. I had thought to wake this morning and forget about it. It seems that is not to be. Now I cough from deep inside me. At times I believe it to be coming from my foot. My stomach hurts as well as my eyes and head. My nose is only in place for decoration. I suppose that is a good thing it remains in place. How funny would I appear if it were not there? No breathing is occurring through it though. To make even more inconvenience, each time I sneeze it requires half a box of tissues. What is worse, the noises his mother makes startles him so Chao Lei becomes upset. It is difficult to calm and reassure him when I repeat the same noises only this time close up. The looks upon his face are at the same time sad and adorable. While my heart melt I do not wish to cause him distress to see these faces. The coughs and sneezes delay my recovery from the back pain. Each time one occurs, my vision ... sparkles. Lt is attentive but still smiles when I sneeze. He attempts to hide it from me but I see him. Why else would he turn from me each time? Emiko is not so happy since it is she who must calm Chao Lei when Lt is absent. She earns her salary especially at this time. It is middle of the day. I will return to bed and leave Emiko to her duties.