Now What?

The ship has left drydock. Now what?

I am hoping they remain long enough for the Navy Ball on October 5. The best news would be their slot has been satisfied with another ship so there is no need for us to go. Second best news is they will join the carrier group after the ball.

Since it is the navy, we do not know what will happen. They will do whatever they do.

Secrets

The Navy is fond of them. I understand. There are things we do not need to know.

Jared returns to me early but cannot say why. Fortunately, the reason is not so important to me as is he is home for now. But here is the problem of secrets. Because I do not know and because he will not tell me, I now wish to know more than before. I will not ask of it, of course. I will watch news and haunt the ombudsman's office though awaiting the "official release" of the information.

I suppose my greatest concern is a safe condition of the ship. If my husband is to serve upon it, I wish to know he will do so and remain as safe from harm as one may be aboard a warship. I do not need to think something of the ship will fail and I will lose my husband.

Is it not ridiculous where a mind can go only because of not being told a thing? I know better of it because the Navy cares for its ships very well but still, withheld information causes me to doubt the safety of my husband's ship... for a moment.

Jared says it is possible he will not complete this tour aboard his current ship because of his completion of CNCS (command school). Also lending credit to this idea is the rumors of issues aboard another ship requiring a change of command and he is the sole graduate on the base without a ship. Of course, it is only a rumor.

I know this is a thing Jared wishes. I am not so sure of it. With each increasing level of responsibility, his time with us decreases. I know it is selfish of me to not want to give away that time. For instance, when a ship returns to port, the Captain is several hours aboard before he comes ashore. The best his family may hope for is a brief greeting at the foot of the gangway until his tasks are completed for the day. Most others with families are with their sailor within, at most, an hour.

The selfish part of this for it happening is with my family. To have a naval ship's captain in one's family is a high honor. I would have "bragging rights" among family and friends. My brother's wife, who has enjoyed a strong position among the family, would be removed from her position to be replaced by me. Yes, yes. I know. It is shallow of me but I do not care for her. She has very high opinion of herself and behaves as more than she is. It would serve her well to teach humility to her.

Meanwhile, I will focus now and enjoy the time with Jared until he departs again. Other thoughts are only fantasies until they are not so deserve little time. Today I will teach my classes and hope my students are willing to apply themselves to learning. Chao lei will attend his school and learn. Jared will do, well, whatever it is he is doing.

Hehehe

It seems there was an issue on board.  The ship had returned and is in dry dock.  I do not know what happened but I will not complain.

It has begun

They are gone.  *sigh*

Sometimes I think it better if they simply left without warning. It is then I remember my friend at Yokota.  That is what she must bear with her husband. Here's goes to work in the morning then leaves with no notice to return whenever he returns; sometimes day, sometimes weeks. I think that would be too much shock for me.

I guess now is the time to do what must be done. At the least, Chao lei seems to do well... for now. We will see.

I wonder...

During our last time here in Japan, the ship visited China. Since it was going to be there, Father and mother decided to go see the American ship since I am married to an American sailor. They had no idea it was the ship Jared was assigned to. What a surprise for them and Jared when he saw them on the dock. During liberty, they enjoyed a dinner together. Now I wonder if this will be repeated.

Last time was unfair. I was home eating my own cooking as Jared was with my parents eating mother's cooking. Me being pregnant did not encourage me to not think it unfair. I must admit though, Jared had his time of being jealous since mother did come to my house when the baby was due and cooked many meals for me while he was still underway.

As I prepare for this deployment, I think of these things. I ensure Chao lei spends as much time as possible with his father. I do not believe that his father will soon be gone has become a reality for him yet. He has been told of it but behaves as if it will be only another day in his life. It would be acceptable if that continues to be his attitude. I think facetime will become important for him soon enough.

I spend as much time as possible with Jared too. So much that we have been accused of being newlyweds. I am ok with that. I wonder though, why does us spending so much time together as a couple attract such comments? Especially from other Navy people, it is surprising since we share the times apart because of deployments and underways. It makes sense to me to spend extra time since we can be apart for weeks at a time and often. It is gentle teasing, I know. Sometimes my English causes me to pause and consider what I have heard. Sometimes that pause leads to thinking it more serious than what it is. Jesting or not, it does cause me to wonder why it is said though.

I will establish my routine again. I will do my best to set an encouraging example for others though I will likely be imperfect. Bear with me as I do this. And I realize I do not organize thoughts so well in English sometimes but my goal is to get those thoughts out of my head, not make sense. lol

Sometimes...

Sometimes it is better to pretend to be happy than it is to actually be happy.

I find that the looming deployment date makes it more difficult to remain positive. I know I will survive it but that does not change my dislike of it. This deployment has the added uncertainty of how our son will react. He was not born yet the last time. This time, he is 6 years old and I know my attitude will affect his.

I can not assume my reactions this time will be as last time. I am not pregnant (so far) and I will not be alone. I have my son. He is not Jared but his snuggles do wonders for my outlook. I think perhaps he will keep me moving and working on snuggle power. Chao lei is a loving boy unafraid to shoe that love. He is not bashful to hug his mother as his friends watch. One of his friends teased him for it once and his reply was "Don't you love your mother?" Is there anything that could make a mother smile better than that?

I am working hard to remain positive. Jared knows I do not care for deployments so I need not make his time harder by making it obvious. I have a son that looks to me to see how to do this. I may have my little pity party and get it out of my system before I steel myself to what is but only after Jared is gone and when Chao lei is at school.

I can do this... again.

Pranks for the Day

It has begun.

Yesterday morning, Jared left this surprise for me. I nearly did not need the toilet

This morning, I dutifully prepared his lunch. I included many of his salty favorites: dill pickle chips, corned beef sandwich, some mixed nuts and, to help him quench his thirst from so much salt, I included a drink. He has a strange habit though. He eats everything before he drinks anything. It is too bad he will only discover his drink is not orange drink but is instead powdered cheese from boxed macaroni.

I do hope he enjoys his lunch.😈

The next one will involve assistance from a crew member.