Where to begin...

First I will say pictures will be posted elsewhere but a link will be available. There are too many to post here.

The wedding day was a full one. I awoke very early. As I discovered later, this was due to sleeping very well with the help of Mother who tampered with my tea. It seems she thinks all brides require "help" to sleep the night before she weds. She is very educated in Chinese herbs. The day for a bride is long already but mine began at 4:00am. Perhaps Mother should have waited a little later before serving me tea.

With little else to do I began preparing breakfast. I had forgotten how much ingredients are used for so many! In my house were Father, Mother, Jiao, my brothers Bingwen and Fuhua and their wives, 4 nephews, 3 nieces, and my best friend who thought it her duty to be with me all night in the event I required anything. I also forgot what labor was required to feed so many.I prepared congee and youtiao. It was simple fare but there were large amounts required if only for the nephews. I thought it proper to allow Jiao and Bao Yu to clean after.

After, the common preparations began. My hairdresser began her task. Since Mother did not hire her she felt her presence and directions were in constant need. Fortunately, I had informed my hairdresser that would be likely to happen and she should only worry of my approval and Mother was "background noise." She performed admirably.

The nail technician was hired by Mother. It was Mother who had influence in this area. Traditional nails were to be prepared. *sigh* I will say this... I bought nail clippers and after our departure.

It is good that I had assistance putting my dress on. With the nails, I would not have been able to accomplish this myself. My weakness for dumplings did not help either. The dress was tighter than I would have wished but at the least I did not explode out of it during the wedding. If I were honest, even my Coastie had some difficulty removing it intact later.

I think the red colors of the wedding were confusing to some. I found it necessary to explain that red is considered a lucky color and few Chinese brides would not have it included in their wedding.

There were no mishaps. Everyone in the wedding was there, on time, properly dressed, sober (under threat of punishment), and smiling. Aside from some decorations, I would say it was an ordinary wedding. Not that I say it was plain. It was my wedding unique to my Coastie and I. Only that everything went as planned.

The interesting part of the ceremony was our vows. The first were common. It is as everyone expected. My Coastie and I secretly arranged with the minister to also say our vows in Chinese. His family looked to be confused. My family could barely contain their surprise. We thought it appropriate to include both cultures as much as possible since we are neither Chinese nor American. We are together, both. And my Coastie performed perfectly his vows in Chinese. I am told he spent hours practicing.

The reception was wonderful. My fears of... uncomfortable... events were unfounded. Some became more jubilant than normal but it was a celebration after all. The caterer was outstanding. The food was well prepared and the wine was perfect for each dish.

I have never seen my father cry. In truth I did not see it now. What I did see was watery eyes and near constant wiping of them so that he would not be seen to cry. His voice cracked as he spoke his toast. I will not mention it to him. It is enough that I saw my father loves me. Mother could do nothing but cry. She was not alone in this. Mother Bing was beside her sharing her box of tissues. I am fortunate to have two such women in my life.

After the reception... well... it is enough you know we spent four days at the Whitman Hotel in Walla Walla before leaving for China.

I will finish with a question. Is it common that a man can work the zipper on his trousers each day with skill yet cannot work the zipper of a woman's dress without almost breaking it?

I have returned

Hello everyone!

I have returned after a long visit home. I will spend time informing you of what has occurred in my short marriage so far!

For the moment, I am tired and I have a husband awaiting my arrival in our bed.You should be ashamed! We are tired. Such a long flight makes one wish only to sleep. ;)

The last...

It is short. It is the last.

In 3 hours I will no longer be unmarried. Other posts made here will be written by a married person.

Mother yells for me.

Wish me good fortunes!

Wedding thoughts...

The day comes closer. I find myself thinking of it more. Not the simple anticipation of a bride to be. It is more.

My friends will tell me I am worthy of him. But by what measure do they think this? What is it I have done that makes it so? I do not believe my mere existence is enough. Each person exists so that can not be considered something unique and thus making me more worthy than any other woman. It can not be that I am Chinese. I am told there is a general preference with American men for asian women so I am not unique in that considering there are several billion of us. I am reduced to believing it is because of his choice.

I worry that I am a good bride. It is important for me to be so. How can I hope to be happy if my husband is not. But it is more than that. There is the family ideals of a bride I must live up to. Mother has no reservations of telling me those things that are expected and that I lack. She is not cruel. She is telling me of what she believes I must know to make a husband happy.

I must say here that many American women have told me this idea making my husband happy is incorrect. They have said I have a submissive attitude and that I will allow anything just to please my husband. This is not so. It is simple math. If he is happy, I am happy. If I see to his happiness, he will see to mine. It is not about me only. It is not about him only. Forgive me if this offends you but I think many American women are full of silly ideas of the matter. Why would a husband work for your happiness if you only receive but never give? It is silliness to think such a thing.

I will not allow anything. I will not be abused in any way for his happiness. My Coastie has met my temper and does not wish to see it. ;) Beside that, he is generous with his time and himself. He is gentle and caring to me but he also has shown his temper to those who have earned it.

But happiness for us is important to me. I do not wish to become another divorce statistic. It is this that has caused me to carefully examine this man for his character. It is this that causes me to worry of making a good bride.

I think it is common to wonder of good life. Everyone wishes to have one. I believe that in this case it is only anticipation of the future that causes me to think of it. I am certain life will not follow my school girl fantasy script. I am certain there will be troubles. I am hopeful the happy moments are more than the troubles.

I know it is because of the nearing wedding that think these thoughts now. I am sure more will arise as the day becomes nearer.

PS I must trim myself. My dress does not fit so well. It is small. My Coastie laughs and tells me it is "fine." I tell him it will not be so "fine" if I am overly displayed because of an over-stressed seam during the wedding. He laughs only harder at this. Perhaps I will weaken a seam or two of his trousers. Let us see if that is funny for him. While we wait, I will exercise.

Sleeping Teenagers

Jiao sleeps. Finally.

Today seemed she was moving with incredible energy and speaking at no low volume... all day. I do not know what was different today from any other day.

We, rather I, woke at 6am and went to rouse her only to find her bed put away and her missing from her room. I found her in the kitchen feeding Nangua and making tea. She was unusually energetic.

I believe she is as most teenagers seem to be. Rather dull and bleary eyed in the morning. This was not so today. She was bright and energetic. Her speaking began immediately upon my entry to the kitchen.

She spoke of the cousins and of the wedding. Have I found a new hairdresser? Mother is sure to call today. What will you tell her? Stephanie has a new boyfriend. Jessica broke up with hers.

Normally, I enjoy our conversations. Today, I could not leave for my work soon enough. Mother Bing said Jiao soon arrived at her house doing the same thing. Father Bing departed soon after her arrival leaving Mother Bing to endure alone. Coward.

My return to home was met with blissful silence. I sat, thinking to enjoy silence.

click... click...SLAM! She is home. She seems to remember exactly where she stopped this morning. Help me...

Phone! Mother. Jiao shouts greetings. It is odd to hear her shouting Chinese. I do not know why. Mother asks many questions in one ear. Jiao shouts to the other.

I ask myself why I have no gun.

Did you know it is difficult to eat dumplings through clenched teeth? It is a small wonder that Jiao could eat with so much talking. When was there time to chew or swallow?

I can not escape her. She follows me, talking. To the barn. The hay loft. I wonder if the hayloft is high enough to ... no, Mother would scold me for eternity.

I did not know one could talk this long with no reply. Well, no verbal reply but apparently pleading glances and looks of agony do not serve to end her speaking.

SHUT... the cabinet when you are done. Why am I unable to say it? Do I actually desire this torture? I would suppose, somewhere within, I do not want to hurt her feelings. But is there not a limit that one may say it with no regard to their feelings and no remorse for having done it?

I have Demerol remaining! I could get her a glass of juice and... sigh...

Enough is enough! It is time she be silent! I will insist she finally cease speaking! I storm into the tv room and to the front of her chair and...

She sleeps...

AARRGG! I believe I will not sleep well. >:(

ARG!

I have sprained my ankle.

It seems I am unable to do the most basic of things, such as walking, without injuring myself. There were no stairs. There were no heels. There was no running. There was only a simple walk in the hallway that has nothing to trip over.

Oh that there were! Then I would not seem so inept at simple walking.

See my clumsiness...

Hah!

Mother's perfect planning has failed!

I know I should find no joy in it. I have been told I should be concerned. But what pleasure it would bring to see Mother's face at the news her planning is, for once, not infallible!

If you knew of her history you would understand. Everything she has planned has always followed her map. It has always been the right people, at the right place, at the right time. Nothing has ever gone awry. She has made sure for me to remember this as she has made plans for my wedding.

She has failed! I shall ensure she knows this! Perhaps then I will not again be reminded of her perfection.

What failed? My hairdresser has canceled. She has decided to retire.

I know. I have weeks to find another. That is not the point. Mother's plans have met an obstacle. It is finally victory for me!

Simple pleasures. ...sigh...

My dress

I have reposted this for you. It was removed for spam messages.

I Still Live!

Greetings to any who still read here!

What is it that I do with my time? One thing is travel. My Coastie took me to Seattle Friday night. We returned today. Do not fret! I was well supervised by Jiao! I must say I envy my friend's closeness to the Pacific Science Center (my apologies for not contacting you. I was not informed of this visit and had no computer with me). I fear I would miss more work than is wise if I were to live so close. Jiao laughed at me as I beat a drum at a rhythm festival. It is more work than one may know before experiencing it!

The Space Needle had a beautiful view. I am thinking, after seeing my friend's view from his new home, that I may have indeed seen at the least his building. We had dinner and it was... good. I had the vegetable gateau. At the beginning it tasted quite good but soon became soggy and much too sweet. The grilled salmon was much better. It is good to steal bits from My Coastie's plate! ;)

My mother's efficiency has gotten me far ahead of my planning schedule. It is her belief there is no reason to wait. As a result, my dress is chosen, the dancers and musicians are chosen, the hall is booked, the tables are mapped, the menu is chosen, and the cake is ordered. I begin to wonder if my presence at the wedding will be required! I am sure she has planned for a proxy should something happen to me! She is a superwoman to do these things from Xi'An!

What am I to do for near 4 months?

Cleaning my posts

I have found it necessary to delete some posts. They were filled with links to Japanese porn sites. There were 83 in one post! It seemed easier to delete the entire post rather than each link.

I understand that some have weak minds and attempt to satisfy themselves with such things. I only question why the sites thought I would willingly allow their links. I think of myself as having been assaulted by them with no recourse.

For those who still visit...

I am alive!

I have been working much and playing little. When I am not working I am planning. When I am not planning I listen as mother plans. This is not so easy as I must listen on a phone which is not always clear since mother is at home.

I will write more often. I promise!