It has certainly been a busy year for the ship. It is safe to say it has been underway more than it has been home. Several underways to start the year off, then the summer deployment. After completing 24 weeks, one would think they would be home for at least a short time. One would be wrong. Two days after arriving home they departed again to participate in an exercise. Now, they sit in the bay at anchor. What would you expect of a naval ship though?
I have begun to question my contract renewal at the university. This past deployment caused me to think of things missed since it takes up so much of my time. I have missed so many milestones with Chao lei and June. Day care workers and baby sitters have witnessed them instead. With Jared being gone so often, our outings are few since I must run the household alone and run out of time long before any meaningful interaction with my children or even Jared when he is home.
My education limits what I am able to do here. It is humorous thinking that a computer science degree is not so useful in the land of electronics. The university seemed the perfect solution. I do enjoy teaching. It is the time investment necessary to be a professor that makes me question doing it. I could apply for a simpler job here on the base that keeps me closer to home and allows extra time real activities with the children. Perhaps the education center has something available through the University of Maryland or some other extension service.
Upon arrival in Japan, I did some minor work in the fleet offices. The reactions of others of a doctor doing such menial work was surprising. I was enjoying it in the beginning but the constant challenges to do something that befits my education was tedious. If I enjoy it, how is it beneath me? Why is it anyone's business but mine?
"Image!" I was repeatedly told. "It looks better to have a more prestigious job." I will admit that people's reaction to Jared seemed to be more enthusiastic when told his wife was a university professor. Why that was is unclear to me. I have been told it gives an impression of a environment of steady self-improvement.
A Navy recruiter tried to convince me that I should seek a commission in the Navy.
Let me say that I am beyond proud of what Jared has chosen as his career and I support him completely, even despite his times away. I would never make demands of what he should do. I married a sailor and though I did not know completely what that entailed, I knew enough of what the possibilities were to be informed of what was possible.
Do I wish to be IN the Navy? No. I do not feel the obligation to serve. I feel my obligation to my family first. To serve in the Navy without that feeling would mean the Navy would fall after my family. How can one honorably serve if there is an obligation that would come before the Navy?
I hope to settle my mind on this soon. Especially since contract renewal is quickly approaching. I will do something. It remains to be seen what it will be.
