I must prepare

My father's visit has moved me to begin preparing. I have much to do. I have none of the Four Men of Honor. I have no decorations of Feicui.

Father is traditional. He grieves for the traditional values that are discarded each day. For this reason I must open my chest of Qipao and press them. I must also practice my hair. It has been too long since I have worn them. I must remind myself of each.

For some who do not know of Qipao they are a traditional dress of China. They are meant to display a woman's grace and beauty. When wearing them all must be precise. The hair must be so, certain jewelry may only be worn with each dress, shoes must match perfectly. My father will note any mistakes. I do not wish him to believe I have forgotten to be Chinese. Also, what will Jiao think of me if I am unable to dress properly? I will also wear American clothing I have become accustomed to but I must show I am able to dress Chinese as well.

This is what it is to be a Chinese woman in America. I have become accustomed to American ways of eating, speaking, dressing, etc. But I must not forget those things that make me Chinese. It is not such an easy thing. In America, wearing Qipao seems reserved for only special times or when instructing others of Chinese custom. They are commonly seen in China.

Father's visit reminds me what I am forgetting. I must remind myself quickly.

Family is coming

My father has sent word he will come in January. He will bring Mother and Jiao with him. To bring my mother is no surprise but my sister is. She is in school still. It makes me happy that she will come. It has been long time since seeing her.

I will show Jiao the places I enjoy. I will also borrow a horse from Cherry to take her riding. I think she will enjoy that. Perhaps she may accompany me to my work and see how American companies work. Then she will learn first hand rather than only what her teacher says to her. Cherry's nieces will also have interest in her. A chinese teenager is unique to them and both have curiosity of the other. I think they will discover they are not so different as they may believe.

I will take Mother to the small craft shops. She enjoys looking for things made by people rather than machines. I will be sure to take her to the rosewood factory. There are many items made by the craftsmen there. There is also a shop that makes furniture with only tools that were used by craftsmen in the 1700's. Mother will enjoy that very much I think.

Father I will accompany where he wishes. He decides what things interest him and it is difficult to guess what does. It is better to wait for him to say. I do not wish to show him things he has no interest in. When Father is bored he is not the best companion.

I am anxious for Father's visit. I will be assessed. He will decide if I have done well. Some will believe that because I have property I am sure to be considered a success. I know Father will look beyond that. He will see if it is sound or if I waste money. What potential is in the investment. Do I bring my family honor or shame.

Being sometimes a devil I hope to be found to bring honor to my father. He will surely hold me up to my brother who has no land yet is older than I. He is married and has children yet has only begun in management at his workplace. I have no husband, have land of my own, and am a manager at my work. It will be the first time I have bested him. I should be ashamed to think such things. I am not but I should be. lol

I will please my father. I am sure of this.

Feeling fat

The holiday meal was wonderful. But for Mother Bing, that is normal. I must now visit the gym to punish myself for eating too much. There was turkey, ham, cranberry sauce, roast, venison, deviled eggs, salads, and pies of all sorts. Some dishes I do not know what they were but even so, they were delicious.

I did not share Coastie until late Wednesday and even then only a short time. Thursday I had no choice but to share him. I was sure to introduce him to those who did not know him. At first he spent much time apart from me as Mother Bing required my assistance. After the meal began we were not separated until time to clean, though he insisted that he help too. I gave him a broom and a kiss and told him to begin. When all was completed we attempted conversation but I seem to have fallen asleep against Coastie's chest. I was comfortable. The evening ended with Father Bing shooing me out the door.

I returned Friday morning early. I wished to spend as much of the day with Coastie as was possible. We spent the morning shopping for gifts (it was his idea). We ate lunch downtown.

Then there was the drive to the airport. The time to separate came much too quickly. It seems security requires one to sit alone for 2 hours before they must fly.

These time I wish I were more as a man. A man is able to say goodbye without tears. I seem to have a need to wash my face when I say goodbye. Men do not go home with swollen and red eyes. I do. Still, I am pleased he came.

I must console myself with knowing he returns in 5 weeks.

Thanksgiving

I find I am becoming more happy as Thanksgiving nears. This is for many reasons.

The best reason is Coastie will be here. I will pick him up at the airport tomorrow afternoon. I have prepared his room at Mother Bing's house. I think we will have time together to do as we wish tomorrow and Friday. The remaining time will be spent with all the family about.

Mother Bing is to show me how to prepare turkey, stuffing, and her cranberry sauce. She insists I know the preparation of the cranberry sauce because she has taught all her other daughters. Mother Bing is skilled at making one feel happy.

I am told there will be other Bings I have not met. I did not think this possible. I am beginning to think of how large this family is.

Big Boss has assigned me the task of delivering a dinner to a family that is recommended to him. I will do this tomorrow morning before I must go to the airport. I think this is a wonderful thing he does. I am honored he has requested I deliver it. I will bring nephews to assist me as there is much to deliver. I have thought to add treats for the children. There is much included in the boxes but there is nothing specifically for the children. I thought to add ice cream and small candies. Would this be inappropriate?

I hope all who read this enjoy their day as much as I am sure to enjoy mine.

Patience

My friend has given me reason to think of thing. He does that well and often. ;)

I have been thinking of patience in my relationship with Coastie. Not his only but mine as well. Coastie has shown only patience while he waits for each part of our relationship. Should he someday decide he is not willing to wait and leave the relationship I will be sad for a time I am sure. But I will be better for it because it will show his affection was not given freely. If he waits for what is necessary then I will be assured of his commitment in the future.

My patience is something I have not thought of until now. There is anticipation of future events. I am eager to move to new things. I wish to give all Coastie will take. I do not because I must also assure my future. I desire a husband that is strong with great integrity.

Many American women I have spoken to say my expectations are unreasonable. I do not believe this to be true. What is unreasonable of wishing a husband that is strong yet tender, patient but not afraid to pursue, who is able to command himself, who gives to me without thought of receiving, and who places me before himself in all things? I am prepared to give the same to my husband. My mother gives no thought to herself. It is always to my father. Yet she is happy and does not lack those things she desires.

I think it is because of this way I must be careful to the man I give these things to. How terrible a life to give all and yet be unhappy. Only with patience may I assure myself of the man I choose. It is easy now to indulge in whatever I wish but this moment is short. I must concern myself with my future life. I may enjoy a thing now but how will my future be affected? If I give something now and Coastie leaves, what will I have to give to my eventual husband? I have only so much to give so it is reasonable to me to give sparingly and with caution until I am married.

I will rush to nothing. My patience assures my future.

Does my smile show?

Coastie has informed me he will return before Thanksgiving holiday and will be with me at Mother Bing's house. My smile refuses to leave me.

For Coastie to return so soon was a surprise. He is scheduled to train another 5 weeks. It will be a short visit of only the one day. He arrives Wednesday nite and departs again Friday morning. I will pick him up at the airport and return him to it. I would prefer he stay longer but I will be satisfied with what is given. There is, after all, not much choice offered.

Father Bing has said he may sleep at their house. The offer was made as my mouth opened to speak of a place for him to sleep. I believe Father Bing thought I was going to offer my room. I was going to ask if Cherry's loft was acceptable. It is my thought that would have been too close for Father Bing. My father will like him very much I think.

Better

I am feeling better though there is still low fever and coughing. But the elephant has decided to sit on my chest no longer. If there is no fever tomorrow I will go to work.

The weather may determine what I do tomorrow in spite of how I may feel. The rain is heavy and the winds are high. Already branches fall from the trees. I fear there will be much to pick up from the yard.

Cherry has told me the hill begins to slip again. I believe this weather will finish the slipping. She has already brought culverts for a spillway that she may keep the dam that results. One pond is not enough for her it seems.

For me it will be good to have my roofs stay in their places and all things remain where they have been placed or in the least I do not need to search far for them.

I am ill

I had not thought to become so yet I am ill. I believe it is caused by the sudden change of weather. In any event, I am not happy for it.

I sit home and drink tea. When I am not drinking tea, I am sleeping. When I am not sleeping I grumble of being ill.

Mother Bing acts as a mother does. She has been seeing to me and bringing me food. Perhaps this illness is not as bad as once thought... No. I would trade wellness for Mother Bing's cooking.

It would be better if Coastie were not away in training. *sigh*

Walla Walla

When first I heard the name, I thought I was the object of a joke. I was incorrect. There is a place called Walla Walla. It is in the state of Washington.

Cherry asked if I would like to accompany her to witness the ordination of her cousin to be a minister. As it was a new place to me and I had no wish to have Cherry drive so far alone, I agreed.

I have never witnessed an ordination of a minister. In the beginning it seemed much as any other religious service I have seen. There was singing and prayers. A group of men soon left the room. Cherry says it is called a presbitry. I was informed these men were also ministers and it was their place to give examinations to ther cousin.

At the beginning only one man asked questions. The first question I thought was rather silly. He was asked of his belief of having only one wife. Seeing that he has only one wife and it is illegal to have more than the one the answer seemed obvious. I will admit I was confused by the cousin's reply. He spoke of covenants and adultry, words I only discovered the meaning of after the service was ended. I would simply have replied I believe only in one wife. It seems to me, to be a minister requires use of more words than are necessary.

Many other questions were asked which were sensible. It is only proper that one know the belief of another that intends to be a minister of the same sect before approving him to perform rites and rituals. Mostly I heard words I did not know or were used in such a manner as I am unaccustomed to. I must assume he answered well as they did ordain him.

They served much food after. There were many different and surprising foods served. One I found was particularly delicious. It resembled the filling of dumplings but had a different flavor. I inquired as to what it was but was unable to discover it.

I then explored a fort and its museum nearby. Visiting the wineries was enjoyable. There were many so visiting all was impossible. Perhaps I may visit Walla Walla again to see the other vinyards. Perhaps I will review those I have visited after I rest.

The drive is long but it is discovery of new things and new places that keep life interesting.

Ghosts and Gobblins

I had thought to write of this tomorrow but sleep again eludes me. The new medicine seems not to work.

I spent the evening at John's house. He is Cherry's brother. I wanted to watch the children and see their costumes. They do not come so far out as my house. I had no costume so I dressed in Cheongsam and pinned my hair.

It was such a joy to see all the small children as they sought their treats. Some shouting "Trick or Treat!" while others were too bashful to speak. The former were cute and entertaining. The latter drew out great affection from me. Their silence spoke of their fear. I was sure to smile and praise them very much.

The most adorable child was a small girl dressed as a pumpkin. Her costume was stuffed full so she could not walk fast as the other children. Her eyes and nose were surrounded by black triangles. Her mouth by a toothy smile. As I opened the door, she smiled the most beautiful smile. She did not say "Trick or Treat!" but instead said "See?" as she showed me her bag of candy and treats. It was not as full as other childrens but she beamed with such joy. I made sure to give her just a small amount more. Very politely she thanked me and turned to leave. Her father helped her down the steps. As she stepped to the sidewalk she turned with a large smile and waved her hand.

If I were to have seen nothing else tonight, this small child made the evening worthwhile. It is these things that make me happy. I am better for the small girl's visit. She did not see her bag as being mostly empty. She saw only that there was more than when she began. She was a great teacher.