Patience

My friend has given me reason to think of thing. He does that well and often. ;)

I have been thinking of patience in my relationship with Coastie. Not his only but mine as well. Coastie has shown only patience while he waits for each part of our relationship. Should he someday decide he is not willing to wait and leave the relationship I will be sad for a time I am sure. But I will be better for it because it will show his affection was not given freely. If he waits for what is necessary then I will be assured of his commitment in the future.

My patience is something I have not thought of until now. There is anticipation of future events. I am eager to move to new things. I wish to give all Coastie will take. I do not because I must also assure my future. I desire a husband that is strong with great integrity.

Many American women I have spoken to say my expectations are unreasonable. I do not believe this to be true. What is unreasonable of wishing a husband that is strong yet tender, patient but not afraid to pursue, who is able to command himself, who gives to me without thought of receiving, and who places me before himself in all things? I am prepared to give the same to my husband. My mother gives no thought to herself. It is always to my father. Yet she is happy and does not lack those things she desires.

I think it is because of this way I must be careful to the man I give these things to. How terrible a life to give all and yet be unhappy. Only with patience may I assure myself of the man I choose. It is easy now to indulge in whatever I wish but this moment is short. I must concern myself with my future life. I may enjoy a thing now but how will my future be affected? If I give something now and Coastie leaves, what will I have to give to my eventual husband? I have only so much to give so it is reasonable to me to give sparingly and with caution until I am married.

I will rush to nothing. My patience assures my future.