First Real Underway... So far

Insomnia is not fun. Fortunately, it has not been so bad this time. I spent a few days with little to no sleep but it seems to be easing. I have not returned to "my head on the pillow and I am asleep" yet but at the least it is only  an hour or so before I sleep now. I opted to go medicine free this time since all the times before were with sleep medications that rarely worked as advertised. They always seemed to begin working as I had to begin my day, making my day miserable. The best sleep I would get was a cat nap now and then. Until there were children that is. Then it was nap when they did and wake when they did. That was never long enough. lol Now with Jared being underway, I do not get his snuggles to help me sleep. Not that they did very much but why would I turn him away when he offered?

Speaking of Jared, he is underway. So far he is away for only a week but his return is, as usual, unknown. I am informed it is the usual mission of sailing around with no specific task at hand. Of course, anyone with a globe knows it is likely "Freedom of Navigation" exercises since they were in the Brunei area recently. To get there requires transiting the South China Sea. And we all know the PRC tends to claim almost all of it is their territorial waters. These do not give me anxiety as much as them sailing in the Gulf. China is many things but stupid is not one of them. They will harass but not attack. Jared's ship could reply rather to forcefully to any Chinese provocation. 

On the child front, Jun makes mommy happy. Most of the time. She follows me everywhere. She seems to like everything I like. I am required to be specific with her though. She will do exactly what I say. When she is going to eat something she likes and I tell her to get a bowl, she gets one. The biggest one. Same for the spoon. I have to tell her she is not permitted to do something until I tell her she may else she only waits for some time to pass then do as she wished. "But I waited until later, Mommy."

Chao lei has come to listen to Jared's "music." Not all of it is horrible. There is some I can listen to without wanting to throw the listener out of the house. I wish Chao lei was as eclectic in his music as Jun. How a nine year old boy enjoys 40 year old music is beyond me. I try to introduce him to good music but to no avail. My only recourse is to make him wear headphones or ear buds.

Our outdoor adventures have been more frequent this year. Out latest hike was to Jinmuji temple. It is not a difficult hike but does have its challenges. I suppose one would call it a moderate trail that is about 7.5 kilometers so it only takes a couple of hours to hike. That suits Chao lei. It is long enough to challenge him but not long enough to bore him. I miss the days of him filling our pockets with little pieces of treasure. He has left that to Jun. I have decided we will hike to Hosshoji Temple next. I am told it is shorter but a little more challenging.

Here we go again.

 Insomnia. That horrible event that comes regardless of your wishes to the contrary. I thought I had defeated it a couple of years ago. It would seem it has returned.

What causes it is unknown to me. Doctors have said it is stress. It is possible. But why didn't I experience it during Jared's deployment to the gulf last year? A common deployment is stressful. A deployment to the gulf during "active" times is much worse. There was no insomnia then.

One doctor said it could be due to Jared's new command. Huh? How can an event in Jared's life cause me stress? For me, his new command is different only in that he is captain. He remains Navy. He will still deploy. Nothing new. Where would new stress come from?

Another doctor suggests it is because  of a new career start for me. I can understand the suggestion for this since it affects me more directly. I do not see it but can understand it. After all, it remains a teaching position but with younger students. I know my classes and my prep work for the courses is complete. What stress could I have?

I am hoping I will find this bout of insomnia short lived. Heavy doses of medicines do not help when one has children. Jun is a daredevil and cannot be ignored long. Her brother finds her antics entertaining so does nothing much to prevent her.

I suppose that until my body decides it wishes to sleep normally again, I will survive on a couple of hours of sleep and a few power naps.

#1 Has Begun!

Jared's first underway as captain has been accomplished. To be honest, it was somewhat of an anticlimactic event. At the change of command, there was much pomp to be seen. For his first launch, nothing. I do not know what I was expecting to see at the launch but I did expect to see SOMEthing. It looked no different to any other launch. 

I admit too that the change of command was not as I expected either. They spoke of the outgoing captain's accomplishments and then of Jared's qualifications to assume command. The admiral spoke and congratulated the outgoing captain and the incoming captain. 

Being the only Chinese-American woman present, the receiving line was somewhat intimidating. There I stood in a long line of white people dressed in WHITE! The dress whites are the best looking uniform but when you are not dressed in white (and you are not white) it feels a bit awkward. I did not think my choice if informal wear was a bad choice until we entered the room. I was in a dark blue blouson dress... among that sea of white. I could easily be found anywhere in the room, even with my short stature. I know this because in some of the official photos, I am plainly seen almost as if I was attempting to be in a majority of them. Jared said I looked beautiful but that is his job to say to stop my fretting. 

Change of Command accomplished, they got underway two days later. It was a short one before they returned to port. Now I suppose the Navy is letting him settle in? They will have the ship leave soon enough. The difference of now and his last ship, he will know approximate sailing times in advance. How much advance? Who knows and I am not permitted to say in any case. I am imagining it will be no different from any other underway except he will always be the first onboard and the last to leave the deck. Now I wait to see if he will be here for our anniversary. 

I have also come to a startling realization. Jared is approaching retirement eligibility. Combining USCG and USN service, his TIS is 17 years. I have not heard him speak of retirement but I wonder if it has even been a brief thought in his mind. I doubt it. He loves the Navy. As for me,I have thought of when he will retire and what we will do. 

He does seem fond of reminding me I am eligible to claim half of his retirement should we divorce. What is wrong with him? Does he not know that I can remain married to him and wait for him to die and get all of it? Besides, who else would put up with his nonsense?