A Year is Gone

Another year has passed. There were good things and there were not so good things.

I believe the worst thing was how poorly I adapted during this year's deployment. I was such a cry baby. If it were the first deployment I had experienced, I would better understand my behavior. I have experienced eight of them. The deployment last year was the same length so length can not be the reason for my poor coping. I was not doing well before I found out where they were. After finding out it got worse. The Middle East is not where you want your husband to be  but risky locations are part of the job and nothing new. After all, they cruise through the South China Sea regularly against the PRC's wishes. I suppose I will just consider it an unusually bad year and move on, taking my own advice for surviving deployment. Hmm... perhaps that is not a good thing to think. Why should I wish to "survive" deployment rather than flourish during it?

Our CoVid restrictions eased a bit this year but it was not reliable enough to make solid plans. We did not return to 2020 restrictions (thankfully) but they changed so often as to prevent planning since one could not guess what they would be week to week. I believe the strict days of 2020 were almost preferable since they were stable and one could plan easier. I look forward to 2022 with the hopes of more stable easing of restrictions. I would like a vacation soon. Perhaps I could even think of a visit from family.

I have elected to separate from the university at the end of the academic year. Leaving my children in the care of others for most of the day was not good for them nor me. The amount of time spent traveling to and from working left little time for seeing to their needs when I arrived home. It is not that I do not wish to teach any longer. I enjoy teaching very much. I do not like sacrificing so much time with my children. "Quality. Not quantity" goes only so far before one may not prevent the lack of quantity from overcoming the quality.

I have checked with DoDea about teaching in the base schools. The high school will require teachers next year for several subjects so the prospects are good that I could teach there. I have sent my paperwork in to that end. The schools are only fifteen minutes from my house and the day care center is on the way there. There is also the chance of teaching an extension class or two at the Adult Education Center for the University of Maryland. I believe this is a much better alternative to teaching full-time at Tokyo University. I can still enjoy teaching and have sufficient time for my children.

I have received several letters from realtors concerning my house. It seems prices are high and supply is low making my house worth considerably more than I paid for it. I suppose one must be prepared for letters when one speaks to an agent for anything. Even more so when the original agent mistakenly listed your house when all one was seeking was information. My current tenants could not afford to purchase it last year at a much lower price. Their situation has not changed much so I do not suppose they could afford it at a much higher price and I have decided to not have them lose the only house their children have known so that I can profit only to profit. Jared and I are doing well so there is no need to sell it. People tell me to sell it and invest the money. I see no reason for that either. The house is paid for so the lease payments are deposited into the bank and converted to Cd's. That is investment enough for me.

The Navy tried to recruit me this last year. I am surprised at the effort they expended in the attempt. It was beyond the simple proffering of the idea to serve. Their effort continued for several weeks of constant explanations of the benefits and opportunities of being in the Navy. You know... things I already know because I have husband in the Navy.

Speaking of Jared and the Navy... Jared is to receive his first command. At this time, he is scheduled to assume command aboard a destroyer. He is excited. So am I. This is how the Navy is strange. He will not attain the rank of Captain but he will be addressed as Captain. Huh? It has been explained that one is rank while the other is a position. It still makes no sense but it is the Navy. Since when have they been required to make sense.

I have discovered the joy of reading for no reason other than entertainment. Until Jared gave me a Kindle, my reading has been informational and academic. The field of computer science does not sit still but is constantly developing. One must keep up with the new if they hope to do well in the field. My first read was  "Golden Poppies" which I enjoyed. It is a book in a series so I plan to read the other two books of the series "Yellow Crocus" and "Mustard Seed."

I am hoping that 2022 is a better year with no repeat of my pitiful performance during the 2021 deployment. There is some trepidation of the changes to expect with Jared as a ship's Captain rather than XO. I can not imagine it as much different but if they were the same, why would they need both? My aim this year is to spend much more time with Chao lei and June, exploring Japan more. They need better memories than what their school and day cares looked like.

Here is to hoping we all experience a better year despite CoVid.

News... Good and Not Bad

First, good news... for me at least. The third season of "Ted Lasso" is scheduled to begin filming on February 14, 2022 and be aired beginning sometime in August. Yay! Upon investigation there is possible bad news. There may not be any seasons following the third. In an interview with Jason Sudeikis, it was revealed that the story of Coach Lasso was originally envisioned as a three season show. Anything after season three is uncertain.

In other news...

It seems the university values loyalty very much. So much so that when I reported I would not seek to extend my contract and after a conference with them, the board decided to release me from the remaining time on my current contract. I need only complete this academic year. It is not an acrimonious ending, but I really do not see that it will be beneficial at later dates.

From a certain viewpoint, I regret my decision. It almost feels as if I have failed. Many women seem perfectly capable of having their career and their family with no adverse effects to either one. I do not see myself as having accomplished that. 

If I am to properly care for my children, I need to spend more time with them. If I were closer to the university, it may not be such an issue. At this time, I am required to depart for the train at 5:30am. I arrive home after 7:00pm. These times are dependent upon nothing going wrong or me missing a train (I am required to change lines twice). Working at a DoDea school on base, I would only be 10 minutes to and from work.

There is a good possibility of becoming a teacher with the DoDea school system while we are here. The class work would definitely be different than university. I could teach science, mathematics, or even foreign languages (I speak Mandarin, Cantonese, and Japanese). I have the paperwork to apply and will have it submitted soon since it has been told me it takes some time for the application to be reviewed and there are current teachers leaving at the end of this school year. I imagine I will be more suited to high school students, but the school would probably determine that.

No matter what happens now, I am confident of my decision to end my relationship with the university. My children need me more than the university. Perhaps "High School Teacher" is not so prestigious a title as "University Professor" It is more important to me that my children are healthy; mentally and physically.

Things I Did Well (and not so well) This Year

 I do not intend to sound as more than I am. There are some things I did this year that I did well. There are also things I did not do well also but who prefers to dwell on those things?

1. I accepted the fact that I have much to learn. It is the most profound realization I have had this year. 

I read… a lot. It is only that it is not what most people read. My usual reading has involved technical manuals. In my field, one may not stop reading despite it is dry facts and figures. There is zero entertainment to be found.

A gift that Jared has recently given me is a Kindle. I have discovered the joy of light reading. Amidst all the educational reading, I have managed to finish a book that never uttered the word “computer” nor anything that would remind one of them. It was “Golden Poppies” by Laila Ibrahim. I enjoyed it very much.

I have been told that you are a combination of the people you know and the books you have read. There is much truth to that statement.I have determined that I will be more than a walking textbook. There is no reason for not reading something other than manuals. Everyone is busy. It is only how you prioritize it.

2. I have established myself as a relative “expert” in my field. I have worked to that end in human-computer interaction. I do not have to know everything. I only have to know more that those around me. Chances are, you are an expert at something too. What do you know better than 95% of those around you?

3. I have helped others reach their goals. That is the very definition of a professor. It is my job to help students progress to their goals in the fields of computer science. What I am speaking of is beyond that.

I hope I have added some value to their lives. It is something that is not difficult. Everyone has something they excel at. I have helped others learn to cook real Chinese food. It is not much of a thing to do but it was painful to see them cook something that was so far off the mark it could, at best, be called Asian influenced.

I have failed miserably at some things too. My worst failure is my temperament during this year’s deployment. I am actually rather embarrassed of how I was. It is not as if I was unprepared for deployment. It is not my first one. I have done six of these; two during two pregnancies and did not do as poorly as this one. The reason for it eludes me. I will only resolve to not repeat it.

I have decided to end my connection to the university. I will complete one more academic year to fulfill my current contract. I will not, however, take on a heavy course load. My children need some time with me and the commute time takes up much of my time. I would estimate that commuting occupies mor of my time than classes do.

I hope to do some things better than last year. I hope to do less of others. I will do more recreational reading. It seems the book I did read is one of a series of three. I can begin there. This next year I will do better.