Things I Did Well (and not so well) This Year

 I do not intend to sound as more than I am. There are some things I did this year that I did well. There are also things I did not do well also but who prefers to dwell on those things?

1. I accepted the fact that I have much to learn. It is the most profound realization I have had this year. 

I read… a lot. It is only that it is not what most people read. My usual reading has involved technical manuals. In my field, one may not stop reading despite it is dry facts and figures. There is zero entertainment to be found.

A gift that Jared has recently given me is a Kindle. I have discovered the joy of light reading. Amidst all the educational reading, I have managed to finish a book that never uttered the word “computer” nor anything that would remind one of them. It was “Golden Poppies” by Laila Ibrahim. I enjoyed it very much.

I have been told that you are a combination of the people you know and the books you have read. There is much truth to that statement.I have determined that I will be more than a walking textbook. There is no reason for not reading something other than manuals. Everyone is busy. It is only how you prioritize it.

2. I have established myself as a relative “expert” in my field. I have worked to that end in human-computer interaction. I do not have to know everything. I only have to know more that those around me. Chances are, you are an expert at something too. What do you know better than 95% of those around you?

3. I have helped others reach their goals. That is the very definition of a professor. It is my job to help students progress to their goals in the fields of computer science. What I am speaking of is beyond that.

I hope I have added some value to their lives. It is something that is not difficult. Everyone has something they excel at. I have helped others learn to cook real Chinese food. It is not much of a thing to do but it was painful to see them cook something that was so far off the mark it could, at best, be called Asian influenced.

I have failed miserably at some things too. My worst failure is my temperament during this year’s deployment. I am actually rather embarrassed of how I was. It is not as if I was unprepared for deployment. It is not my first one. I have done six of these; two during two pregnancies and did not do as poorly as this one. The reason for it eludes me. I will only resolve to not repeat it.

I have decided to end my connection to the university. I will complete one more academic year to fulfill my current contract. I will not, however, take on a heavy course load. My children need some time with me and the commute time takes up much of my time. I would estimate that commuting occupies mor of my time than classes do.

I hope to do some things better than last year. I hope to do less of others. I will do more recreational reading. It seems the book I did read is one of a series of three. I can begin there. This next year I will do better.