A thought...

A thought has occurred to me. ◔_◔ It is a nice day and warm. Mother says I may leave Little One with her but I must take Jiao. It seems I am not the only one who has been too long inside since Mother says Jiao is making her crazy.

I suppose I could tell you Little One's Chinese name since he will not be normally addressed by it (except by Mother and Father). It is amusing to me now why Lt agreed to it in the beginning. It will not be difficult to think of his English name since, as I have been told by others instead of Lt, it sounds so close to a common nick name. It is Chao Lei. At the least it is not pronounced as Chuck and both families will be able to speak it regardless of their language.

I am told Lt may return soon. I have been told this before. If soon is to mean several weeks then I believe what is said. What I know is when the ship returns, he will be first to depart it since it is tradition to let new fathers leave the ship before all others when they arrive home. 

There is milk ready and the baby sleeps. It is time to walk even if only a short distance.

I am home

Since I spent all yesterday and last night and since Mother is a doctor, I was allowed to return home this morning.

To be sure I am happy to be in my home. I am happy Mother and Jiao are here. Still, my house feels empty. Lt is not here. I confess I had tears for a time. I told myself Lt would be here if it were his choice but it is not. The Navy requires he be elsewhere.

Another voice then tells me it was his choice to join the US Navy not mine. I was not consulted. I was happy to be a Coastie's wife. Curiously this thought makes me tear again but not for a reason one would assume. It feels of betrayal from me of Lt and I feel ashamed as if I have failed him again.  It took only a few moments to discard that thought and replace it with empathy for my wonderful husband.

I hear people who are not military speak of their own sacrifices. They tell me of sacrificing time socializing so they could volunteer here or there. They tell me of sacrificing a vacation so they could work to earn extra money to have a better vacation next time.

Lt sacrificed something that he had only one opportunity for; his presence at the birth of his son. He did not sacrifice that for personal gain or recognition. He did so others would not have to make such a sacrifice.

My first sadness is replaced by my immense pride in him and what he does. Of course, I miss him and wish him to be here, but more, I wish him to be who he is and to be where he is required. We will have our time together soon enough.

For the moment, I have Mother and Jiao to keep me company. But Lt should not delay for too much time. There is little English being spoken to Little One at this moment. If he wishes his son to understand him his return should be soon. ;-)

He is here

Little One has arrived @ 0450. He is 7 lbs 13 oz and 21"

Not Time...

Mother says it is not time yet.

I have been having contractions from early this morning. Mother has been keeping track of them. She says they are not long or frequent enough.

Also, I am not dilated enough, only 1 cm. I will say here how very awkward it is for me for my mother to check this. At the same time it is better she does it than a stranger.

I am not the best company at this moment.

Yay Mother!

Mother is what I hope to be.

She spends her day traveling with a teenager. First from her home to the airport then from another airport to my home. I would believe she would wish to rest. I would be incorrect.

Mother saw my laundry when she entered my apartment. Much to Jiao's displeasure she was instructed to begin laundry immediately. With only a little grumbling she began her task of washing my clothes. It is good she has learned arguing with Mother is useless. I did attempt to assist her but I also have learned not to argue with Mother. After a smile and a "Mother has spoken" shrug for Jiao, I sat as I was instructed.

Luggage remained in the living until Jiao had a moment to remove it to their bedrooms because Mother began cooking immediately. I came to the kitchen once but was told to return to my chair. Instead I listened to the occasional "Mei Mei! Where is..." as dinner was prepared.

I do miss Mother's cooking. It is much better than mine. You would find even Lt believes it is Mother who cooks better. He is jealous even now that he is not here to enjoy her food.

Here is dinner she prepared last night. This is her idea of fast food. It is lemon chicken and vegetables. It means it only took her 30 minutes to prepare it. Dinner tonight will not be so fast. She has already begun preparing. In a short time I will be required to visit the commissary for missing ingredients. Dorothy will accompany me. Her reward is Mother has insisted she dine with us. I thought to ask Tammy but she is on watch.

Even after her immediate detail of laundry, Jiao still seems to like me. :-) She has remained at my side most of the morning. She did not complain of my early rising. She simply joined me for breakfast. Mother even joined us but scowled at the Frosted Mini-Wheats we ate. Though she is attentive and knows my difficulties, she remains a teenager and wishes to explore. I have told her this is not as Oregon where she could wander more freely. Here I must accompany her everywhere. I have assured her she may accompany me when I am out. Unfortunately for her I do not anticipate it will be often I am out.

I am happy they are here. I would be happier if Lt was here also. As they say, "Welcome to Navy Life."

Rescued

I need not travel to Narita airport to retrieve Mother and Jiao. They will ride the train from the airport directly to Yokosuka. Dorothy has volunteered to help me retrieve them from the station this afternoon.

I am happy their arrival is so soon. It has been difficult accomplishing my daily tasks with Lt being underway and now I will have help. I know it sounds selfish of me. I do wish to see them. I have missed them. It is only that my house is not kept as I prefer it to be.

Some things have simply been put off. Laundry, for instance. I have done none. Bending to unload the dryer... I groan only thinking of it. I am fortunate my assistance arrives today else I would be required to wash something or be happy walking about naked. Security would not be pleased. I do not believe even Tammy would permit me to do so. :-D

Also, I am depleted of my store of easy to make foods and I do not wish to stand long to prepare a meal. Mother, on the other hand, enjoys cooking and does it well. My microwave will suffer neglect while she is here. I am pleased she will not permit me foods such as corn dogs or burritos but I am sure to get fatter (is it possible? lol).

I do not anticipate Lt will return before the delivery. What I hear from around the base and some hints from the FRG cause me to think this. Their constant inquiries of my delivery and of help available do not require an extreme level of intelligence from me to conclude he will not be in attendance. It does mean Lt will be the first to leave the ship when they do return! (ツ)

Such is the life of a Navy wife.

My visitor

Mother will be here this week. I am happy for it. Even more so since Lt is underway again. It is possible he may return before the birth but everything he tells me causes me to believe this will not be so. The look in his eyes at his departure made my smile very difficult to hold. I could see his preference was to stay with me. Telling him I was proud of him was not so effective at returning his smile to his face this time.

Mother also tells me she will be accompanied by Jiao. This was not planned so I was required to file appropriate paper work for Jiao. Mother says if she is not permitted to stay with me they will stay in a hotel. I do not see the reasons they would prevent my sister from visiting. I will know today.

There are ten days until delivery is due. I find myself wishing for fewer. Even though Mother is only two days from her visit, I have felt more than once that I would be alone for the birth. I have resisted the urge to go to hospital but I have almost given in and called Dorothy or Tammy on several occasions  The contractions fade away after a short time and I find it was wise not to go.

I hate being alone at this moment. Well, not completely alone. Yuki lays in my lap purring now and is seldom far from me.

Ugh

Waking to contractions is not enjoyable. Waking to Lt rubbing my tummy because I was groaning in my sleep was. :-)

I have an appointment to see my doctor today and I will tell him of these contractions that wake me. He has said before it is normal. Mother says pay attention to my body.

It is beginning to become exciting as the birth of our son approaches. We have only two weeks to go and I have my hospital bag packed and ready. I have read articles about what I need to bring and have spoken to my friends and I think I have done well not going overboard and I feel prepared.

 For Me:
1. Lansinoh Lanolin Cream, nursing pads and a picture guide of laboring positions
2. Nursing bra and nursing tank
3. Travel toiletries
4. Comfortable clothes in the event I am required to stay a few days.
5. Slippers
6.  Water bottle

 For Little One:
1. Going home outfit
2. Nununu beanie for keeping his head warm in the hospital
3. Angel Dear lovie
4. Aden and Anais Bamboo Swaddle blanket

Boppy nursing pillow
Phone for keeping friends and family up to date and for my labor playlist
Lt’s overnight clothes
Our camera
A few healthy snacks

 Is there something I have missed?