I have experienced few week ends that I have enjoyed as much as I have the last two days.
It began with a drive to Winston with Coastie for a community party. It had a western theme. Many people wandered about the grounds saying "Howdy" and "Y'all come back now. Hear?" They were dressed as cowboys and ladies of the day. I questioned going but I am happy to have done so. It has proven to me that I must be willing to experience new things. If I had not gone, I would not have had such fun nor met many new people. Many games and much food occupied the day.
Today was spent eating BBQ ribs and hearing much music. I sat to listen to many different singers and musicians. It was an enjoyable day. Unfortunately, Coastie had duty so I was alone. It was the only negative thing of the day.
Such enjoyment surely relaxes more than medicines. I will sleep with a smile tonight.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
Listening at the Speed of Light
Today, Amanda came to my house. She is Cherry's niece. It was obvious she was very excited but it was some time before I could determin why.
It was strange for me that she arrived by the school bus at my drive. I thought it was certain some poor child would find themself deposited at a stranger's house. Usually Amanda may stop at Cherry's house and then come to visit me. Today, it was not so.
She came to me quickly speaking very quickly. I could not understand her words but their urgency frightened me and I began speaking chinese.
Stop laughing.
After several minutes of neither of us understanding the phone rang. Imagine Mother Bing's distress hearing Amanda in the background speaking as she was and hearing me speaking chinese as excitedly as Amanda spoke.
I said stop laughing.
Mother Bing calmed me enough to speak english once again. She asked me what was happening. I did not know as Amanda was not yet calm to speak at a pace I am able to hear and understand. Mother Bing brought Father Bing to my house.
Mother Bing was able to calm Amanda enough for her to understand the distress. It seems Amanda's boyfriend has decided he is interested in another girl. *sigh* All of this for a 15 year old boy breaking the heart of a 14 year old girl.
I am not yet ready to be a mother to girls. I will prefer sons in the beginning.
It was strange for me that she arrived by the school bus at my drive. I thought it was certain some poor child would find themself deposited at a stranger's house. Usually Amanda may stop at Cherry's house and then come to visit me. Today, it was not so.
She came to me quickly speaking very quickly. I could not understand her words but their urgency frightened me and I began speaking chinese.
Stop laughing.
After several minutes of neither of us understanding the phone rang. Imagine Mother Bing's distress hearing Amanda in the background speaking as she was and hearing me speaking chinese as excitedly as Amanda spoke.
I said stop laughing.
Mother Bing calmed me enough to speak english once again. She asked me what was happening. I did not know as Amanda was not yet calm to speak at a pace I am able to hear and understand. Mother Bing brought Father Bing to my house.
Mother Bing was able to calm Amanda enough for her to understand the distress. It seems Amanda's boyfriend has decided he is interested in another girl. *sigh* All of this for a 15 year old boy breaking the heart of a 14 year old girl.
I am not yet ready to be a mother to girls. I will prefer sons in the beginning.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Carrying on
Coasty and I are getting along well still.
He continues to drive here during the week to visit in spite of my concerns for him. He did at the least rest for a time. He informed me he did not wish to be seperate for so long a time and if I did not come to him, he would come to me. He has kept his word. At the most we do not see each other for 2 days.
His frequent visits are encouraged by his training that approaches. He will be gone several weeks until he returns. I am unsure how long. He has decided to become a rescue swimmer. Before he leaves, I am to be allowed a short cruise on the rescue launch. They will demonstrate what it is they do. I am excited to see.
It is beginning to appear to others we are a couple. If one is seem without the other we are asked of the other's location. It is somewhat unsettling to walk the shops of Depoe Bay and have an unfamiliar person ask me the location of Coastie. I politely answer with what information I have but it takes me by surprise still.
Is this what it is to "become a couple"? If it is so, I do not object to it. It comforts me to know that someone I spend time with and care for has such respect from those around him. It may sound selfish but I feel pride as someone recognises me as Coastie's companion. I am careful to always appear tidy and be respectful so I do not cause shame to him but inside I stand straight and hold my head high.
I am beginning to fear a day I will no longer be able to cling closely to him and feel his strong arms about me but I must not dwell on it for much time for that is a silly thought. We are new to each other still. There is much time before I need fret of such things.
He continues to drive here during the week to visit in spite of my concerns for him. He did at the least rest for a time. He informed me he did not wish to be seperate for so long a time and if I did not come to him, he would come to me. He has kept his word. At the most we do not see each other for 2 days.
His frequent visits are encouraged by his training that approaches. He will be gone several weeks until he returns. I am unsure how long. He has decided to become a rescue swimmer. Before he leaves, I am to be allowed a short cruise on the rescue launch. They will demonstrate what it is they do. I am excited to see.
It is beginning to appear to others we are a couple. If one is seem without the other we are asked of the other's location. It is somewhat unsettling to walk the shops of Depoe Bay and have an unfamiliar person ask me the location of Coastie. I politely answer with what information I have but it takes me by surprise still.
Is this what it is to "become a couple"? If it is so, I do not object to it. It comforts me to know that someone I spend time with and care for has such respect from those around him. It may sound selfish but I feel pride as someone recognises me as Coastie's companion. I am careful to always appear tidy and be respectful so I do not cause shame to him but inside I stand straight and hold my head high.
I am beginning to fear a day I will no longer be able to cling closely to him and feel his strong arms about me but I must not dwell on it for much time for that is a silly thought. We are new to each other still. There is much time before I need fret of such things.
My new hat
Today I have been given a new hat to wear.
Big Boss has decided I would make a proper Accounts Manager in addition to Network Manager. We have discussed the good behaviour of the network and the resulting difficulties of me discovering productive tasks to accomplish. His answer is to add this task to my duties. It is chance that has caused this. The former manager has sought other opportunities elswhere.
If I am to understand it correctly, my new duties are to monitor accounts, their place in the company, invoicing, and payment status. This seems to me to be enough to keep myself occupied. At the beginning especially since I will require time to learn of each account and develope my own methods of monitoring.
It comes also with a 6.5% increase in compensation. Who could say no? ;^)
Big Boss has decided I would make a proper Accounts Manager in addition to Network Manager. We have discussed the good behaviour of the network and the resulting difficulties of me discovering productive tasks to accomplish. His answer is to add this task to my duties. It is chance that has caused this. The former manager has sought other opportunities elswhere.
If I am to understand it correctly, my new duties are to monitor accounts, their place in the company, invoicing, and payment status. This seems to me to be enough to keep myself occupied. At the beginning especially since I will require time to learn of each account and develope my own methods of monitoring.
It comes also with a 6.5% increase in compensation. Who could say no? ;^)
Monday, October 23, 2006
Friendship
After reading another blog a question came to my mind.
Why do western people find it necessary to connect a strong passionate love and sex? If one says they passionatley love another it is assumed they also enjoy sex together.
This idea limits my love for others. I passionately love Cherry. She is my greatest friend, my sister, a portion of my soul. I seek her for comfort. I seek her for companionship. Sex is not any part of that. We are not lovers. It has never occured to me to be otherwise.
Why do others find it difficult to understand this? How do Americans show others they love them and cherish their friendship? In China it is easy to do so. None assume two men walking with an arm about the other to be anything other than friends. It is common to see women embrace as well as men. Nothing is thought of it.
Only in America have I seen it labeled as homosexual and not to be done by those that are not. I am sure it occurs at other places but America has been my example so I may only comment of here.
It is difficult to feel as I am becoming part of this culture when I feel restrained from doing what I am accustomed to.
Why do western people find it necessary to connect a strong passionate love and sex? If one says they passionatley love another it is assumed they also enjoy sex together.
This idea limits my love for others. I passionately love Cherry. She is my greatest friend, my sister, a portion of my soul. I seek her for comfort. I seek her for companionship. Sex is not any part of that. We are not lovers. It has never occured to me to be otherwise.
Why do others find it difficult to understand this? How do Americans show others they love them and cherish their friendship? In China it is easy to do so. None assume two men walking with an arm about the other to be anything other than friends. It is common to see women embrace as well as men. Nothing is thought of it.
Only in America have I seen it labeled as homosexual and not to be done by those that are not. I am sure it occurs at other places but America has been my example so I may only comment of here.
It is difficult to feel as I am becoming part of this culture when I feel restrained from doing what I am accustomed to.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
More contrast
Adding to the last post of my dual life is an easy thing to do.
Another challenge to my life is food. It is difficult to find many of my favorites. Even to find the ingredients can be a trial. It is not that I do not enjoy other foods than Chinese. I enjoy many different types of food. But these foods do not hold me in my place. When I am able to find ingredients I am view as odd for wishing these things. I have recieved many inquiring looks at the butcher. The grocer's common reply to my questions is "What's that?" Even the asian stores do not stock those things I need. It is no surprise as they are Japanese and Vietnamese. I believe my friend has called these my comfort foods. They are what root me to my ancestry.
People often ask if a Chinese person they have met or is a friend is known to me. Why would I know this? Am I to know all 1.3 billion of them? Zhonghua Renmin Gongheguo (the proper name of China) is a large country. I do not understand how certain people believe I have met them all.
In my time here I have discovered I am viewed as a mathmatical Kung Fu master who in the same moment is docile and subservient (this word took much searching ;^) ) to every man, and a coniving temptress with designs on every man I see.
I am Xiang Mei Lian. Nothing more. Nothing less. I have dreams that do not include other women's husbands. Sadly, I know no Kung Fu though I am capable in Nanquan. I am a quiet person. Do not mistake this for docile. Do not think I am the servant of any man. My mathmatical skills are acceptable. And in America, I know very few Chinese people.
When you see me, smile. I will smile back to you. It may be possible for you to be so daring as to say hello. I will return the greeting. Are these not the beginnings of all friendships?
Another challenge to my life is food. It is difficult to find many of my favorites. Even to find the ingredients can be a trial. It is not that I do not enjoy other foods than Chinese. I enjoy many different types of food. But these foods do not hold me in my place. When I am able to find ingredients I am view as odd for wishing these things. I have recieved many inquiring looks at the butcher. The grocer's common reply to my questions is "What's that?" Even the asian stores do not stock those things I need. It is no surprise as they are Japanese and Vietnamese. I believe my friend has called these my comfort foods. They are what root me to my ancestry.
People often ask if a Chinese person they have met or is a friend is known to me. Why would I know this? Am I to know all 1.3 billion of them? Zhonghua Renmin Gongheguo (the proper name of China) is a large country. I do not understand how certain people believe I have met them all.
In my time here I have discovered I am viewed as a mathmatical Kung Fu master who in the same moment is docile and subservient (this word took much searching ;^) ) to every man, and a coniving temptress with designs on every man I see.
I am Xiang Mei Lian. Nothing more. Nothing less. I have dreams that do not include other women's husbands. Sadly, I know no Kung Fu though I am capable in Nanquan. I am a quiet person. Do not mistake this for docile. Do not think I am the servant of any man. My mathmatical skills are acceptable. And in America, I know very few Chinese people.
When you see me, smile. I will smile back to you. It may be possible for you to be so daring as to say hello. I will return the greeting. Are these not the beginnings of all friendships?
Friday, October 20, 2006
Hmmmm
I find I am more well disposed to this sight for blogging. It seems easy to use. It looks more visually stimulating.
I think the name suits me more also. It is more precise in its description of my life. Chinese living in English is more difficult than it may seem.
First, the language here is not mine. Not yet. I will learn in time. Now sometimes things are said that I am unaware of the meaning and therefore feel left out of conversation. Carrying a dictionary is awkward. I think I have become adept asking at appropriate times and remaining silent at others. But there are those times when it is obvious. Usually it is a joke I do not understand and I stare blankly desperately trying to define the words to find the humor. Many times I am not successful.
Second, it seems there are people who do not care for me simply because I do not look as they do. My eyes are not round. I have no choice to those. I would not change them in any case. My hair is black. In this I have a choice but I have seen many Chinese girls with their hair colored. Some have been successful. Most, to my eyes, look, well, silly. These are usually those who have become blond or some other light color. Brunette is acceptable but I fear I would look silly. My hair will remain as it is.
There are other contrasts. As I have time I will write of them.
I think the name suits me more also. It is more precise in its description of my life. Chinese living in English is more difficult than it may seem.
First, the language here is not mine. Not yet. I will learn in time. Now sometimes things are said that I am unaware of the meaning and therefore feel left out of conversation. Carrying a dictionary is awkward. I think I have become adept asking at appropriate times and remaining silent at others. But there are those times when it is obvious. Usually it is a joke I do not understand and I stare blankly desperately trying to define the words to find the humor. Many times I am not successful.
Second, it seems there are people who do not care for me simply because I do not look as they do. My eyes are not round. I have no choice to those. I would not change them in any case. My hair is black. In this I have a choice but I have seen many Chinese girls with their hair colored. Some have been successful. Most, to my eyes, look, well, silly. These are usually those who have become blond or some other light color. Brunette is acceptable but I fear I would look silly. My hair will remain as it is.
There are other contrasts. As I have time I will write of them.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
The Chinese characters
Forgive the Chinese script on the pages. In some way the system has decided I wished it that way. I will not change it for it shows the dual nature of my life.
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