After reading another blog a question came to my mind.
Why do western people find it necessary to connect a strong passionate love and sex? If one says they passionatley love another it is assumed they also enjoy sex together.
This idea limits my love for others. I passionately love Cherry. She is my greatest friend, my sister, a portion of my soul. I seek her for comfort. I seek her for companionship. Sex is not any part of that. We are not lovers. It has never occured to me to be otherwise.
Why do others find it difficult to understand this? How do Americans show others they love them and cherish their friendship? In China it is easy to do so. None assume two men walking with an arm about the other to be anything other than friends. It is common to see women embrace as well as men. Nothing is thought of it.
Only in America have I seen it labeled as homosexual and not to be done by those that are not. I am sure it occurs at other places but America has been my example so I may only comment of here.
It is difficult to feel as I am becoming part of this culture when I feel restrained from doing what I am accustomed to.
It's not difficult to understand such a close friendship, and not all Americans make the assumption that sex is involved. But there are many people who are close-minded, and either hateful or fearful of any hint of homosexuality. I suppose in America people are generally more sex-obsessed.
ReplyDeleteWhen an American shares a bond with someone else, though, we show it in many of the same ways that anyone else would. In other cultures, maybe that involves more touch. Here, touch and romantic affection are often linked in people's minds, but I think most people will understand that it's not necessarily the case.
I do understand the concerns you've raised in this post, though. I remember many years ago that a girl I was dating suspected me of having homosexual feelings towards the friend I wrote about; when I heard that, it made me laugh hard and long. There will always be thoughts like this, often because of insecurity, but it shouldn't stop you from showing your friends how you feel about them.