Exam Results

After grading all exams and looking to accepted ratios, it seems I am an effective teacher so far. The amount of pass and fails were well within the normal ranges except that I had no fails in my AP classes. This is not because I am such a perfect teacher. It is because those students are advanced placement students. High performance is expected.

In my non-AP classes my ratios remained good. I had three failures but those were due to absences or tardiness and makeup tests will be available. I had several (mostly in languages) that were close to failure. I will review the exams with the students to understand why their scores were so low. 

A teacher told me, it is rare that the student is bad; it is usually the teacher. The teacher fails to understand how the student learns. It becomes necessary for the teacher to adapt themselves to the student. It is not always so easy to do so. It can be quite complicated or even seem against everything a teacher is taught of what teaching is. As an example, I have a student who it seems ignores me during every class. He does work from other classes , pausing occasionally and seems to pay attention before returning to being distracted.

I discovered this student has severe ADHD. He can accept new information very quickly but just as quickly lose track of the class. He has accepted the information but without more that quickly follows, he loses interest. I must regain his attention. When information is new I say zhǎnshì (zhan3 shi4, I show) at the beginning to get his attention. It is short but enough to stand out as not common enough to be ignored. The other students think it is only my version of umm. Imagine the frustration of feeling you are being ignored while teaching. His scores have gotten higher so I must assume this method is working.

So, I am pleased I am not a horrible high school teacher.

One Quarter Done.

OK. The high school version of mid-terms is underway! I know my students are not as excited as I am of it. For them, it is a test of their acquired knowledge. For me, it is a test of my teaching methods. Am I an effective teacher? My impressions so far tell me they are absorbing the information given to them fairly well. Impressions can be wrong though. The tests should prove if my impressions are correct.

At the same time, I know that some students do not test well. Place an exam in their view and their minds blank. My habit at the university was to orally quiz students on what seemed problem areas. Most proved to have the knowledge but were unable to express it on paper.. I intend doing the same with my current students.My job is to teach them, not score them solely by some metric I had no influence developing.

A frustrating thing I have observed is, administrators are fond of saying "each student learns in their unique way" then expect me to teach them the same as every other student. The contradiction makes my brain hurt so I will do it my way until instructed otherwise. I anticipate that would be an interesting conversation.

I do not assign homework on a regular basis. It seems my students receive plenty of that from other teachers. All I hope for is I am considered a fair and reliable teacher. I will not baby them through a course but I will help where I can. Every student will be held to the same standards. I am astounded by the weight of their back packs as they leave the school for the day. In my opinion, homework should be rare. There are other more effective ways to prove their knowledge. Besides, did you know there are apps that will do your math homework for you, including advanced maths? Am I to wait until they fail exams before discovering problems because they have used these apps?

I suppose my questions (fears) will be answered by the end of Friday. Then I can adapt and move on.

It Is Too Early

Here it is 0430 on a Sunday morning and I am very awake. It is good I went to bed at 2000 but it means I am to have a long day.

Maybe I could fill some of the day with a visit to Parcabout Tree Nets or even Cosmo world. The former is a "jungle gym," the latter a theme park. Either one would occupy and tire Chao lei and June while keeping me moving to prevent me sleeping all day.

A ship's spouse has been calmed. I hope. This being my second tour here at Yokosuka may be an advantage. I have experienced the missions and pace before and survived. A younger spouse sees the activity in the East China Sea and it can become frightening when it is a thought left to itself. It requires explanations of this activity is nothing new. It occurs every day and is simply each side flexing its muscles. Is it a possibility that someone does something stupid? Yes but it is very unlikely. China knows the caliber of its ships and that most are far inferior to even just our ship. Telling this wife these things seemed to relax her at least some. Just so that you know, sometimes it is far easier giving this advice than it is living it. 

I was born Chinese and immigrated to America. Sometimes that helps by giving a perceived level of knowledge of the Chinese government. That knowledge is exactly that; perceived but non-existent. In these times, I am able to state some knowledge of or predict the behavior of the PRC and it is generally accepted. This is very helpful when trying to comfort a worried spouse.

Other times, my opinions are suspect because of my ancestry. I often feel as the Japanese-Americans at Pearl Harbor must have felt as their loyalty to the US was questioned for no reason other than ancestry. Fortunately, most Americans can not see the difference of Japanese and Chinese appearance so it occurs rarely here in Japan.

"Chinese Living in English." It is an old blog name of mine that reflected what I thought of my life at the time. I was a Chinese woman learning to live as an American woman. Back then, my speech was heavily accented. I still have an accent but now it is more refined and my words are better understood. I no longer have the constant need of the ever-present Mandarin-English dictionary of my past. There remain occasions where one is helpful though. My thinking was always through a Chinese mind-set that often conflicted with an American lifestyle. I believe I have found the balance of being American while keeping hold of my Chinese history.

I believe I have gotten adept at ignoring the negatives. Offenses must be fairly overt to garner my attention. The only time I get angry of it is when I have to explain it to my children. The Navy has become adept at preventing much of it with the potential ending of careers for it. Single sailors were the usual culprits. The Navy must be doing something right since those occasions have become rare. It was/is tiring to be judged for skin color rather than character. The most common instances of being treated poorly is by single women on the base because single men demonstrate a preference for Japanese women. I still do not understand how that is my fault. I am not even Japanese.

I can still see the duality of my life. Not as often but it remains noticed. The bad part of growing and learning is that I have learned to see where offense can be found. It is fortunate that I have also learned I need not be offended for every little thing that happens.

I Will Admit.

I will admit that current events in the South China Sea are a bit unnerving for me. Regular stories from the news of coalition ships doing "Freedom of Navigation" and Chinese responses do not help settle me. I have received email from Jared of course but they say the usual things; nothing. He tells me where they have been but not where they are going.

I am told not to worry. China is, after all, a paper tiger. The problem is, even paper tigers have claws that, if caught unaware, can do as much damage as a strong tiger. Jared is capable else they would not have put him in command. But he is a new captain. It is a real threat. It is not as if he has not seen this behavior before. Being XO on a cruiser brought him into the same area often.

I do not write these things because I am overly worried of them (though I do tense up when I first turn on news broadcasts). They are only thoughts in my head that I need to express then move out of my mind. I wish to remain happy as I have been since school has started. Also, it would not be good for the ship's families to see the captain's wife having a negative attitude. I would be unable to help keep their morale up if mine was down. 

I did not volunteer for this place I am at. I steadfastly refuse to "wear my spouse's rank." I did, however, volunteer to marry Jared and, by extension, the Navy. Whether I like it or not, there are expectations of me in this place I have volunteered to be in. My behavior has the ability to affect his career for the good or bad. My behavior has the potential to affect the ship's families morale which could forward to the ship's crew.

This is the portion of a captain's wife they tried to prepare us for in the Command Spouse Leadership Course. It is almost funny how it is easy to accept in the abstract but becomes more difficult to accept in reality. I tended to believe they were being dramatic in the beginning. Now Jared asks me what is happening at home because some sailor on board is worried for his wife because she is near panic. It seems it falls to me to make contact with her to try and calm her fears which I will do after school today. 

They warned me.

OK. I believe I am vented. Now to go on with life. I am off to spread joy and peace!

Moving Forward

Now I have a date to work with in my planning. November 17 I will have surgery. I requested it to be in November since I have several events happening through the rest of October that I will need my voice. Being without a voice, and being radioactive, would definitely put a damper on those events.

The order of events is supposed to help me get through this. I have surgery where they will remove my thyroid

The school has spoken of me doing remote instruction for my classes. I am not sure of it though. I have been informed the iodine treatment could cause me mild nausea to being camped over a bucket. I suppose a further discussion with the doctor at the preop appointment will be necessary. 

So, there is no reason to suffer extra stress over this cancer. Some of the events surrounding it almost require it but not the cancer itself. It is not akin to having your tonsils removed but neither is it op surgery. Besides, they have already stabbed me in the throat with needles. why should I not expect they would cut it too?  lol

The Chao lei and June seem to be doing well with this event. They were very concerned with it in the beginning. Chao lei wondered if I was hurting. June has tears thinking I might die. I reassured them that I was ok. I did not hurt and I would not die. Not yet anyway. Then I allowed them to come to the doctor with me and ask him questions. They seemed calm after that. I also told them they may hear things about cancer that scares them again but to always  remember what the doctor told them and to ask me of it if that did not help ease their worries. June's teacher tells me that she talks to her classmates about it freely and almost as if she is proud of it.

Now if we can just get Jared home for at least some of this side journey. It is not that he can change anything of it physically. It is spiritually where he would work wonders. He already works to keep me cheerful. He jokes of the new scar I will have. "It will be only a small one among the many. How am I going to notice it?"

Life will go on. What will my fretting change? Nothing, so why fret of it? I will continue to care for my family despite some little undisciplined cells. I will treat them as I would a disagreeable person. They will be removed from my life and I will carry on happily.

The "C" Word has finally Been Uttered

 I went to the oncologist this morning and finally had someone say cancer. It was strangely settling to actually hear the word rather phrases like "highly suspicious."

It is cancer in my thyroid so I will be scheduled for a thyroidectomy in a few weeks. As cancers go, this one is a very slowly progressing one and it has been discovered very early so time is important but not of the essence. After surgery, I will be given a radioactive iodine pill that is supposed to chase down and kill any wandering thyroid cells. For this part, I am supposed to isolate from others because of the radiation I will be eliminating over a week avoiding contact with everyone and everything. I will have to tell my sweet little Yuki to go away. It is difficult enough for the children but the children will understand much more than her. She will only know that I sent her away.

I have questions. Questions such as, What do I do with my children for that week? Will Jared be home during this time? What is he supposed to do? If he is not home, what am I supposed to do? I have much to figure out in a short amount of time.

Now comes the time to discuss this with Chao lei and June. I would rather be the one to tell them the facts rather than give them little information to let others fill in with bad information. June already knows of the lump on my throat. She is the one that discovered it while snuggling. They both are curious but have been told I have no information until the doctor gives it to me. This should be fun. :/

When all is done, I will simply carry on living. What else is there to do?