...... Hmmmm ......

Have you ever written a post without knowing what to title it? That is me today. I suppose that should be a warning to any who read that my subjects may wander.

First, motherhood has sent my life in to turmoil unsettled... ness (Is that a word?). What were once my habits have now been set aside in favor of new habits. For instance, no longer do I take my morning walk first. First, I must tend Chao Lei. This includes a diaper change and dressing, then feeding and burping. Then I must assemble what may be needed during the walk; extra diapers and wipes, extra milk (if there is none I must express more before we leave), the pram must be expanded, and obviously I must be dressed and my breakfast eaten.

Now one must combine all of that with education. I have a teaching schedule, a class schedule, and a research schedule. All of these must be accomplished if a doctorate is to be acquired. For most, this is not easy to do, nor should it be. Being awarded the highest degree in one's field is something to be earned then treasured. If it is acquired too easily it will not be treasured. But, add to this rigorous schedule caring for a child and the difficulty has be greatly increased.

I often ask myself if it would be best to stop working toward this and concentrate on Chao Lei. So far, I have not bee able to convince myself to do so. I know completing this degree will accomplish many things. It will cause me to be more marketable in my field. Additionally, It would make possible returning to Oregon and teaching at a college or university.

For Lt, it is good for him that I continue to improve myself. The military values education even in a spouse/dependent since it demonstrates an atmosphere of self improvement in his home. He wishes the challenge of command. I have been told my continuing education improves his chances even if only indirectly.

For Chao Lei, it gives him role models in both his parents. His father and I will strive to be the example of perseverance to attain his goals. We will not insist he become what we wish him to be. We will only insist he not stop working to be what it is he wishes to be. He will be taught what Father continually told me, "To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping." I could not stop and the effectively teach Chao Lei this.

Lt has returned from his "epic" cruise. The Navy decided since they left the dock they may as well spend time doing something constructive. It seems sailing approaches to Tokyo Bay is constructive.

Lt loves being at sea. He loves doing "Navy stuff." He did not enjoy this underway. I fact, he claims he was eager to return to port since he found it difficult to occupy himself during most of it. I will admit I am not unhappy with his return so soon.

Chao Lei is growing fast. It seems an exhausting task for him since this is what he does much of the time.

Soon enough he will become more challenging. I will enjoy this time while I may and know there will be other times to enjoy. Each one unique.