My Prize

 

My posts have been a little negative lately so today, I will post something that makes me happy. I have never posted anything like this before now and perhaps it is the pregnancy influencing it, but I wish to write down the ways my husband is so precious to me.

He cares for me as if his life depends upon it. I have had no need he has not fulfilled even sometimes to his loss or great inconvenience. For instance, during our last tour here in Japan, I was unfortunate enough to witness the violence a husband can visit upon his wife. It was deeply shocking to me that a person could do that to someone they claimed to love. My qi (I do not know the English equivalent, soul perhaps?) was profoundly disturbed. In the time he should have been preparing for his review boards, Jared made sure to reassure me and spend valuable time helping me to overcome the great sense of loss I was experiencing. I resented her husband because he made me question mine for a moment. Jared expended a lot of effort to reassure me of what I already knew of him. He put me ahead of his career. I am first. He defends me.

I absolutely adore his touch. The way he gently takes my face in his hands and kisses me every day melts me. Even when I am angry at him for whatever, this cools my temper and I forget that I was angry. It is a brilliant defense he mounts but I will take it. I will almost even make up a reason to be angry just for him to do this. I am horrible, I know. There was once, early in our marriage, that I was angry at him and he did not take my face and give me kisses. I was devastated. Jared noted that my anger disappeared to be replaced by tears. He has not omitted it since, despite how angry he might be. Sometimes I believe he does it only to end the argument. That is fine with me. I will take it. It is easier to settle something when I adore him rather than when I am angry at him.

We enjoy time just being together. We are not doing anything. We are just with each other. In the beginning, this idea was scary to me. Had he lost interest already?  With an explanation, I came to accept this idea. Now, we sit together in our love seat silently; him reading, me embroidering. Each doing our own thing but close together, me usually leaning on him. He will also sit for hours with his arms around me to comfort me or even just because.

He accepts me as who I am. He is happy to be seen with me when I am in a ball gown, all dolled up and just as happy to be seen with me when I am in sweats with my hair in a ponytail. He will kiss me even when there is moisturizer all over my face. I am completely accepted even to my scars. He does not turn away at the sight of them. When he first saw them I saw his face change for a moment but his only question was if they hurt at all. Jared did not see all of me until we were married. He only saw what could be seen while I wore shorts. Now he has seen all of me and the full extent of scars and he still touches me.

He has fun with me. We have been known to play on a trampoline together, in the rain no less. At times, our children believe we have lost our minds. See 2 year old Chao lei near panic as his mother and father have a flour fight in the kitchen. He dumps ice water over the shower curtain while I am showering. He jumps scares me often. He says he loves to hear my squeak. I get my own back though. Jared has discovered that when Aunt Mei Mei brings sheets of treats to the ship, I have 300 confederates at my call. I am told there is nothing worse than not knowing when payback arrives and he is not even safe at sea. Sailors just say “Aunt Mei Mei told me to.” And they are safe from his retribution.

He trusts my judgment. Whether it is how I spend our money or how to raise the children, he values my opinion.

Our differences perfectly complement each other. Jared is an extrovert; I am an introvert. He cannot write legibly to save his life; I am a calligrapher. Jared can fry an egg but only after my intensive training and he still destroys my kitchen doing it; I learned to cook from a Chinese mother and a father that was the executive chef in his own restaurant.

He remembers our special dates. He forgets his birthday but always has plans for my birthday, our anniversary, and other special times. The children are jealous at times that he forgets dates for them from time to time but never mine.

He calls me on the phone and sings “Have I Told You Lately that I Love You” in the style of Rod Stewart, the song from our first dance at our wedding.

He does everything he can to put a smile on my face when I’m having a bad day.

He literally goes to work in snow, sleet, hail, and storms at sea to provide for our family. He sacrifices so much for us.

He understands me... mostly. Learning a Chinese woman is not always easy but works hard to do it.

If he sees something around the house that needs to be done, like changing the laundry or getting a paint stain out of Jun’s carpet, he doesn’t just wait for me to do it. He’s proactive about helping with household chores, even to hiring a maid when I am pregnant and he is away.

Jared is a wonderful father. His children are an important part of his world. I usually am last in the conversation as we do face time when he is underway. I am usually last in line for hugs when he disembarks the ship. He always brings them something when he returns from deployment. Not because he wishes to spoil them (though he spoils me rotten. Where will I ever wear a hanbok?) but so they know that he is thinking of them wherever he is. While I was pregnant, he would spend much time talking to our unborn children so they would know his voice when they were born.

It is not that I cannot live without him, because I can. I do it regularly. I can provide for myself, and I can take care of our children. I manage to feed myself and our children every night, and I could always hire someone to fix things around the house when they break. I do these things often. But I love my husband so much that I want him by my side, through everything.

He is my best friend.