Living Reserved

 

Many of the posts I have read lately have discussed simple things and simple difficulties. Reading them has reminded me how spoiled I have become. I go to my kitchen and turn on the faucet and there is water. I push the handle and whatever is in the toilet vanishes without a further thought. I forget too easily that it was not always so for me. I am also just a bit nostalgic.

My family was not considered a poor one in Xi’An. We were thought to be upper-middle class. This meant Father owned property with a house. He had a government job and mother was a doctor. By western standards though, I suppose we were poor. The house I grew up in was beautiful and sturdy. I was born in it. Until I was 13, we had no indoor running water. Until then, we (I usually) drew water from the well outside the kitchen door. I was 16 before we had an indoor toilet.

I do not say I had a bad life as a child. I was happy. I did not know I was supposed to feel deprived without the indoor water. It never entered my mind to feel less because of it. It was just how you lived. Oh, I complained about it (not too loudly. You know how parents can be). Especially in winter when I had to take a piece of heavy kindling to break the ice holding the bucket to the wall or breaking the ice from the rope. If it taught me nothing else, it taught me to pre-plan so there need be no freezing cold morning visits to the well. Perhaps you now understand my aversion to cold weather.

There are many things I did not know I was supposed to have. Now that I have them, I become spoiled and take them for granted. It is difficult not to. I must choose to strive to not forget what is important for living.  I am happy that my children will never experience my life as a child. On their recent visit to their grandparents’ house, the well was a novelty.  For me, it was a necessity. They will not fully understand the different childhood their mother had but if I have my way, they will never find it necessary to live that way and learn to be content with a little less. I do not wish for them to be poor or to go without. I wish only for them to strive for their best but be content with what meets their needs and not reach for more than they can reach. I hope that they forget “the Jones” and live their own lives with happiness.

Concerning our upcoming PCS, our HHG is scheduled for packing and pickup on April 18. After that I will have base loaner furniture. Now it is time to sort what is needed and what is not. I do not look forward to it but Jared and I decided that two months without furnishings here is better than four months without furnishings there. It should make Chaolei happy though. He will have far more time on his electronics than is usual since all his things will be gone. Or… maybe… I could keep him occupied by visiting our favorite places one last time. A mother can try.

I must tell you of my pride for my son. First, yesterday, Chaolei and Jun wanted sandwiches for lunch. From the kitchen I hear from

·        Chaolei: Where is the mayonnaise?

·        Me: There is none. (feeling ill, I had not done any shopping yet)

·        Chaolei: How are we supposed to have sandwiches?

·        Me: Google it.

I had determined to go shopping but to my surprise, he searched how to make mayonnaise. Then he made some. I walked into the kitchen to see what they were doing only to find him making sandwiches for him and his sister. My expression must have been a quizzical one. Upon seeing me standing there, all he said was, “What?”

But that is not where his only skills lie. On Sunday, Chaolei said to his father and I that we should rest for the day and he would prepare dinner. We (I) hesitantly agreed and I will admit, I was expecting mac and cheese or something out of some other box. Since it seemed to be taking longer that a box of mac and cheese would, I went to check on his progress. I peeked through the door only to be scolded by my son, “Do I bother you when you are cooking?” Chastised, I returned to my seat next to Jared.

After some time, Chaolei announced it was dinner time. Jared and I entered the dining room to find plates and food on the table. This is what he prepared for us.

 

It would seem he pays attention when his mother cooks for him. I am absolutely beaming with pride. And if you wonder, it was absolutely delicious. Now I know that when he grows and leaves his mother, he will not starve. Lol I cannot forget Jun. She set the table well.

A last note: My husband left a song queued on my iPad with a note that said “Play this. I love you.” The song? “Too Much Heaven – the Bee Gees. Would you not weep as a little girl too?