Things I Took for Granted

 

When I was younger (wow, I never thought I would ever be old enough begin a sentence with that phrase), I thought I was busy. A twenty-something living her day-to-day life working as a network technician at a large corporation first then as a network administrator at a small corporation. I had the typical work of anyone who owns a horse would have; grooming, feeding, barn work… I was busy... I thought. Now I wish I could go back and tell myself to enjoy it while I can because… Being a parent is hard.

Please do not misunderstand me, being a mother is the greatest gift I have ever received. I love almost every minute of it but, just like marrying into the Navy came with surprises, so too did becoming a mother. At least with the Navy, the surprises become routine. Children will always come up with something new. There were things I took for granted. Things such as…

Going to the bathroom alone.

It is not some great and lengthy event, yet my children seem to have a radar that notifies them the moment I sit down. They rush to the bathroom as if I am incapable of being there alone. And they do not just crowd me. They reorganize drawers, play with the faucets, try to flush the toilet (even before I am ready for that step).

Or running a quick errand

Quick errand? Do those exist? That errand is now a lengthy process though it becomes shorter with age, thankfully.

·        Help them find their shoes (this SHOULD be an easy task since they are supposed to remove their shoes at the door) yeah. Right.

·        Help June put hers on

·        Load them into the car. Thankfully, Chao lei’s height and weight makes a car seat unnecessary, a booster will do. Jun knows how to buckle herself, but a mother must make sure.

·        Drive to the destination

·        Unload them at the store.

·        Deal with a meltdown because I accidentally turned down the cookie aisle and did not get any or did not get the ones she wanted

·        Wait in the checkout line where they are grasping at everything within reach and whining for them. This is why my cart is always in the center of the aisle. If you do not like it, get over it or pay for all the extras that magically fall into my cart.

·        Actually check out which includes digging for my purse, finding my wallet, find my card in my wallet, try to remember a pin number while trying to calm the ocean that is my children

·        Load them back into the car.

·        Drive home

·        Unload them once again.

or naps. Well… sleep in general

It has been said, “Sleep is for the dead.” I believe this was uttered first by a parent. Once little ones arrive, undisturbed sleep becomes a rare commodity. You eventually develop your habits for sleep but if you enjoy the occasional nap before you have children, get over it since they will cease to exist in your world.

or a warm meal

HAHAHA! Do you know when I eat a warm meal? When Jared gets a sitter and we go out. The funny thing about that is, if the service is a bit slow and the food arrives cold, I usually do not notice it. When a baby arrives, your focus is on feeding them first and then cleaning them up. Only when you are finished with that do you get to eat.

When they make it to toddler+ years, it seems you have finally come out on top because they can feed themselves. Not really because now they have developed unbendable rules for what they will eat. Let the battles begin.

Oh, and this applies to your drinks as well. Do you drink sodas? Get used to warm, watered down ones. Hot coffee/tea?  Just save the frustration and get iced. But then, we are back to the cold drink conundrum. Accustom yourself to tepid.

or any quiet moment

What is quiet? I used to laugh at the scenes in movies where children run yelling and screaming, and parents are thinking of pulling their hair out. I do not any longer. June seems to find it necessary to make as much noise as possible. In fact, she LOVES to make noise. Every surface is a drum, she will sing, yell random things, or just scream for no reason. Her scream can pierce an eardrum.

When they get older (Chao lei), the question phase sets in.  The statistics are that a child asks 73 questions per day. Are they sure it is that few? The only moments of peace come when they are finally asleep but even that is a struggle sometimes. They say that a day will come where there is blessed quiet, but I will miss the noise. Maybe. But until that day arrives, I will never be far separated from the noise cancelling headphones Jared bought me for when I am flying somewhere. Seems they are suitable for lessening the din of children’s noise as well.

or music in the car

“BAAAby shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo” or “The phone! The phone is ringing!” Remember listening to anything else on the radio? Me neither. What makes it even worse is when you find yourself singing along or *GASP* singing it to yourself later.

or health and self-care

Sometimes I wish I could return to the days of having the flu without children; lying in bed all day, drinking my tea, watching movies, all while praying I would not die because that kind of peace sounds so good sometimes.

Did you know that pre-school age children get colds eight to 112 times a year? Have you noticed that when they recover, parents tend to suffer from the same ailment while trying to keep up with their energetic children. We parents do not get sick days. For us, getting better takes longer and no rest is involved in our recovery.

or personal space

Becoming a parent means that I gave up anything resembling personal space. I am the resident “jungle gym.” This means I will have my face sneezed in, vomit in my hands, mucus on my fingers, and a history of being peed on. If I am asked what to expect by anyone wishing for a baby, I would tell them this; children are incredibly clingy and that means you will have very little personal space.

Having said that, understand this. When my children snuggle me, it is the best thing ever. Unfortunately, that does not last long. Even now, Chao lei is resistant to my hugs, especially in public. I have been used as a living security blanket and it can be exhausting but I would not give it up.

or watching TV/movies without Interruptions

Since having children, I have memorized every remote in our house and can press the pause or volume button in record time. It amazes how they can sense me trying to relax. The very moment I begin watching anything, the running and screaming begin.

or not sharing food or drink

I believe there should be “Parent Size” bags of snacks. They would be between a regular bag and an individual bag. That way, I at least get to taste the snack that I selected for me. I will always teach them to share but sometimes, I want my snack all to myself. I would also like a drink with no floaties in it.

or cleaning once a week

HAHAHA! You have never experienced Typhoon Chao lei or Typhoon June! Of course you have not. But I have! Their destruction can span the entire house and you never know how long they will blow. After my children were born, I developed a new definition of cleaning. I do not do as I used to and pick up messes as they occur. I would never be able to accomplish anything else. Instead, right before dinner we have “clean up hour.” They made the mess; they can help pick it up. I warn people, if they ever visit unannounced, I am no messy person. I have only not made my daily storm assessment yet.

Being a parent is a difficult job, but it is one that is well worth the effort. I may not desire the uninvited visitor during my potty break, or the endless cycles of messes but I do embrace every single moment I have with my children. I will not have them forever. One day, they will be gone, and it will be quiet.