A Question

I was recently asked if I felt I was missing something in my life since giving up being a professor at a university. Was it not degrading to step down and become a high school teacher?

There is nothing in my life I have not chosen to do and so I knew the consequences of it. Call it good or call it obsessive but I do not make quick decisions for major things. I prefer to weigh my choices and evaluate the potential results. I am rarely surprised by the outcome of my choices. The Navy does tend to change my choices on short notice but even then, since the Navy is nothing but change, I remain unsurprised. Decision making as a Navy family is much like playing chess. One thinks several moves ahead knowing the final choice will be determined by what the Navy does. An alternate is as planned as the primary.

Why would I feel degraded? Teaching high school is an honorable calling. For me, it is a fulfilling one. I prefer working with younger people because they have less tendency to have developed bad educational habits. I get to see the emerging adult as I contribute to that development. 

I get to be with my children far more than when I was at the university. My class schedule was full and commute times were brutal. I departed my home at 6 am and often arrived that evening at 7pm. When was I supposed to raise my children? Teaching high school, I can see them more and participate in their lives.

When I was a university professor, I was missing my children growing up and that was a sacrifice I was unwilling to make for very long. My children are a large portion of my life. I am happy and fulfilled in my life. What am I missing in it? Nothing at all. I am exceptionally blessed.

Pregnancy week 10. Little one is the size of a kumquat, whatever that is. It is supposed to 1¼”.  I have an OB appointment on Thursday. I will get the ultrasound and some tests. Maybe I will discover the gender.

It seems I no longer know how to not drool. Jared woke me because I was drooling on the back of his neck and onto his pillow. I do not blame him. I dislike sleeping with a wet neck and pillow too. I must stand slowly if I do not want to fall over from dizziness. There are no sudden waves of dizziness so that is good.

Morning sickness has come to full throttle. Now if I could convince it to only be in the morning. Cooking has become a horrible experience for me. Fortunately, we have convinced Miyuki, the housekeeper I seem to have forgotten to release after my chemo (I will keep her as long as Jared continues to pay for her lol), to accept the responsibility of cooking our dinners each night until this sickness eases. So, it will be Chinese food is out, Japanese food is in. I will not complain of it.

My clothes are getting smaller. Jared loves this part but that is because he does not carry it around or suffer the “extras” of pregnancy. A good thing of it is Jared faithfully applies lotion to me “because he enjoys it.” I say it is because he does not want yet another scar to look at. Whatever the reason, it is a win for me.

The week has been a mixed bag. My baby has grown healthy so far. My cat left me. Life is give and take.