So....

I have returned to living the pregnancy alone. It is good Lt was not home very long. I could have easily became accustomed to him helping me accomplish all that must be accomplished. I could have easily became re-accustomed to his attention. It was a nice visit.

My concern now is rumors of the ship, after finishing this year's cruise, being underway again at the end of February and nor returning before the end of May. Little one is due to make his appearance March 10th. I would not prefer delivering alone. My mother will be here but she is not Lt. She will encourage me. But her encouragements, if I am to judge by her previous times, will be as her encouragements for my brother's wife. "Push harder Mei! You are being Lazy! Do you wish for this to continue all night? Others wish to sleep so hurry!" She does not say these things to be cruel. This is how wai po encouraged her.

At the least, the nausea has lessened though I continue to abstain from dumplings. Everything is growing as it should. Lt was not displeased with some of it.

Lt took this picture before he left. It is at 10 weeks. I had thought myself to be getting fat but the doctor assures me I am normal. I need only watch my diet, drink plenty of fluids, take my vitamins, blah, blah, blah... For someone who never has and never will be pregnant, he seems to believe he knows what I feel. I know he has graduated school and is well trained but it is not the same as experience. I can tell him what I feel but he is limited by his experience of what something felt like to him.

Since he is the doctor, I will do as he says.

Meanwhile... life continues without Lt. It was surprising how easily I could resume my habits. I do not like it. I do not wish to be independent of him. If I wished that I would have remained unmarried.

Aside from the pregnancy and my location, my life is much as it was before I married. I went about my day doing what was good for me. I did not concern myself with what another would think.  I am not unhappy for it but I do not wish it to be this way.

Perhaps in more time I will come to accept it. For the now, I will continue as before and live differently when Lt is home. I thought the duality of being Chinese/American was difficult! It seems the duality of being a Navy wife is more so!