Blubbering Idiot

This is what I have become. I hear a song I cry. I see a picture I cry. I get email from Lt I cry.

I do not care for this part of pregnancy! Perhaps it is good that Lt is absent for this part. It will be unnecessary for him to worry of his actions towards me. I have seen the effects of my tears on him. I remember certain times he has seen me cry. His panic became evident and he fretted of what he might have done to cause me grief. I prefer to have his loving attentions rather than seeing him in panic.

This was the greatest source of tears for me this week. It is the 12 week picture of my son. I say my son from conviction and the doctor suspects but will not confirm it. He will do another ultra-sound in four weeks time. I am confident I will be proven correct. I am his mother. I would know this instinctively. At the least, that is what I tell myself.  :-)

I have been asked what I would do if it is a girl. Really? Is this question necessary? Is it an attempt to tease?

If they are serious in the asking my reply is "Love her." Why would I do otherwise? My child, whatever the gender, is a gift from God. It is my place to care for them, not with care to what they are, but with care to who they are.

But since it will be a boy I need only concentrate upon that. I will raise him as best I am able. I wish a son who is confident in who he is yet not arrogant. He is strong yet tender when it is needed  I will make mistakes as will Lt. It is my prayer that I do not repeat them.

Now...... to see if I am able to go through my day without blubbering for no good reason.

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I added cool smileys to this message... if you don't see them go to: http://s.exps.me