I find myself ..... unsettled.... for the moment.
It is difficult to describe my feeling. I am to join my Lieutenant soon. This is a good thing. I wish to do this above all else. I am not married to be alone and can not conceive of the idea of an extended separation as being acceptable.
But to accomplish that I must leave my new country. I know this is not bad. If only I could convince my mind of it.
I have only been a legal citizen for few years. I cherish my country for receiving me and allowing me to do well for my own sake. In my mind I replay scenes of disaster. What if I lose my passport while in Japan and Japanese Immigration finds me then refuses to believe my citizenship? Will my new country come to redeem me? What if while I am gone a rule is found that states I may not leave the country for so many years or for only a short time? To break this rule one loses their new citizenship.
My Lieutenant tells me I worry of nothing. To ease my mind he will speak to the station legal office.
The fear is unreasonable, I know. I have a new country that welcomed me. I have a new husband that loves me. What I have been given is dear to me.
I envy natural born citizens their security. I would suppose the thought never occurs to them of losing their country.
Perhaps I should cease thinking of anything more deep than my departure date or what my next meal will be. I seem to have lost the skill of reasonable thinking.
I am not surprised at this. It is a lot to risk! I can tell you my niece is a Peruvian Citizen by birth, newly an American Citizen, now married to an AirForce Captain, and overseas. She has had no trouble with her passports, visas, etc. The military helps with much, and will not leave you behind, were something to happen to your papers. To ease your mind, speak to the American Consul in Japan, and your Lt. will speak to the legal aides there. There may be things you can do to insure safety, such as certified copies of all your citizenship papers to be left with Mother Bing, and a set in your bank deposit box over there. You cannot have another passport, but certified copies of your citizenship papers should be easy to come by, and a copy of your passport would surely help if it was lost, and a way to allay your fears.. If I think of anything else, or find anything from my niece, I will let you know.
ReplyDeleteJean... Thank you. You are a source of wisdom and reassurance for me. I know these things I worry of are not worthy of it. My mind seems to enjoy playing the "what if" game with me.
ReplyDeleteIt's the waiting! That only gives time for your mind to think up more things... I have known the problem. :) Soon you will be there, and with your wonderful husband, and your fears will dissolve. I hope you will have a very happy time in Japan!
ReplyDeleteIt's always a bit scary to leave home, even for trips that aren't nearly as long. Once you've begun your adventure, you'll face it as well as you do everything.
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