It seems I began this pregnancy with twins. Unfortunately, one died and I am in what the doctor called twin resorption. What the ultrasound showed was what is known as fetus papyraceus. The baby is being reabsorbed but it is not complete and may not be completely..
So, I lost a baby. I am not sure what to think of it. Should I continue as if nothing has happened? Should I mourn the lost baby? My mind is blank. I have never even had a miscarriage (that I know of) and now I have lost one. How can I feel sad losing something I did not know I had? How can I continue unchanged knowing I lost a child?
What do I do if I choose to mourn the lost child? How do I do that? Do I name her to mourn her? ARG!
Jared tells me this is something I will need to process in my mind to decide and I admit, there is no processing happening right now. Only confusion and something I cannot put my finger on.
Lesson learned. Do not assume it will be an easy pregnancy. It will come back to haunt you.
Meanwhile, I am stunned.
Sending you love as you navigate this difficult time XO
ReplyDeleteLike anything else, grief (or not really) is very personal and everyone navigates it differently. I've known some who have lost babies who have been devastated. Some who have not. So any way you react and process it is right. Prayers for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThere is no "right way" to deal with this. Whatever feels authentic to you and your feelings is all that matters.
ReplyDeleteOh Mei. There's no right or wrong way to grieve - even if you're not sure how. Thinking of you.
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