Fortunately I have this place to speak of it since it is ill-advised to do so among those that are around me. If you would please indulge me I will speak here. It will not be cheerful but the hope is it will help me feel better.
I miss Lt. I want him home. Since the ship is able to do this:
it could be some time before they return. Navy schedules and missions do not compliment mine. Dates continue to change.
Lt emails as he is able. He is enjoying being at sea. I do not fault him for this. Fortunately, for me, we do not video chat. I do not wish him to see I am less than enthusiastic of his absence. It is easier to pretend I am happy with only words. I need not describe my face. I send him only pictures from early in the underway when I smiled more spontaneously. He would surely notice a forced smile.
I do not understand why I am having such difficulty being alone. It is not the first time. I lived alone for several years when I first came to America. I have friends to speak to and spend time with.
I am left with only the thought that I will become accustomed to this life. I have no choice.
Being alone is harder when there's someone to miss, especially as much as you miss your husband. Hopefully you won't have to grow too accustomed to it, because that would only mean that you mind less. Never stop minding, because it only means you care.
ReplyDeleteIt was only a bad day. While I will eventually become accustomed to it, I will never come to care for it. If it were for me to say, he would come home every evening.
ReplyDelete