Looking through Pictures

I found myself looking through my pictures as I was packing to move... again.

I found pictures of Fat Luey. It is surprising how I am able to ache and smile at the same moment. I miss him as much now as I ever have but at the least I am now able to smile when I remember him. Think me odd but I told Yuki of him and showed her pictures. I told her she would have enjoyed playing with him as much as Nangua. She sat in my lap as if listening intently and purring.

I would suppose my attachment to my cats seems strange. For me at some times they have been my family. Not as a human family of course. The largest difference is your family has no choice who is family. Animals choose who is theirs. My Fat Luey chose me.

I was living alone. One day at the door sat this skinny orange cat. I thought to give him something to eat but he chose to enter my house instead so I sat the bowl on the floor and he immediately began eating. As he chewed mouthfuls he looked around the room. I assume he decided he liked what he saw because he never left. I would open the door, he would look out, and then return to his place on the back of my chair.

We were close. He seemed to know my moods. When I was sad, he sat with me purring. When I was happy, he would sit and look to me as if to smile. I spent some time with him sitting on my lap and sighing as if he were sad. It was then I returned affection he gave me when I was sad. It was difficult to ignore him when he was happy! Usually we ended up playing. Sometimes he would give a few head bumps as if to say "I love you" then continue on his way. We had many long conversations. I do not misspeak myself. I would talk for a time then he would meow in response. He was very helpful when I made decisions or just needed someone to hear me. I miss these things.

Yuki is affectionate. She is with me constantly when I am home. She funny. She is as precious to me as any cat that I have shared my house with. But she is not Fat Luey. I would not wish her to be since I do not wish to replace him.

Lt thinks I am strange as I sit looking at pictures and smiling through tears but he still comforts me.