Pain...

Lt's return could not have been better timed as well as Mother's return home.

It would seem the birth of Little One has side effects. My back is giving me very much pain. So much so I awoke Saturday unable to walk or move. I believe childbirth is preferable to this pain. At the least child birth has an end in sight. This pain does not. Even holding Chao Lei to nurse bring pain. I am limited to Aleve for pain since I am nursing. I am being sent to a chiropractor.

Lt has hired Sakei's daughter to assist me to care for Chao Lei when he is on duty. She is as industrious as her father and I fear she will become bored quickly. I will pump milk (am I alone that it makes me feel as a cow? lol) for her to feed him.

I fear I am also not the most pleasant to be around at times. I am as Lt says "cranky." What is worse, I know this yet am unable to always control it. There is no reason for Lt to endure it yet he does with great patience. Then I become sad because he does endure me. I will ensure his efforts do not go unrewarded.

Lt has developed a habit I have become quite fond of. Every woman wishes to know her husband loves her. I know Lt loves me but occasionally I ask him how much. At the first when his reply was only "This much"  and he would hold his first finger and thumb close together it startled me. Only a small amount? I was prepared to have my heart broken. Then, holding his fingers in their original place, he brought my finger to his, which fit perfectly between his finger and thumb every time and said "I love you so much I want to keep you forever so I married you." He knows the size of my finger as he does this perfectly each time. Now he need only show his finger and thumb in this position and I know he is telling me he loves me. He does this across a room and I know. He does this from the rail of the ship and I know.

Others are curious what Lt is meaning when he does this. I know.