Conferences. The Not So Great Part of Teaching

I love teaching. I am not picky about what I teach as long as I can teach. Being a professor at a university was enjoyable though it had its moments but what job does not have its moments. Overall, I enjoyed it. If I did not have my own children, I would still be a professor. In Japan though, while there is not a great distance involved, travel time is long and crowded. The Japanese train system is like everything else in Japan, efficient. It is well maintained, and courtesy is paramount. But getting packed into a coach by a strange man touching you is somewhat unsettling. You get used to it though.

My children needed me. I did not wish them to be raised by someone else, so I opted to change my position to a DODEA teacher on base. That way, I would be there for my children. We are both in school at the same time. 😉 I find I prefer teaching youth rather than adults. I am allowed to be one of those that form their foundation. A good foundation is required for success so I do my best to help build that foundation.

I have good students. I teach AP classes, so they are very intelligent and accept instruction well. The problem with having students is, they have parents and sometimes the parents seem to not accept instruction well.

In my classes there are no surprises. I am honest with my students. They understand my standards and expectations so when they are rated for their performance in class, they are not surprised at the results. They accept them as fair.

Some parents on the other hand, not so much. I get it. They have dreams and aspirations for their children and advocate for them without fail. I actually applaud that they do. I advocate for my own children. What I do not care for is those parents seeking special treatment for their children and do not wish to accept the honest results of their child’s efforts.  “My child would never/always…” My favorite is “You must be doing something wrong.” It is never their student’s fault.

We just enjoyed parent teacher conferences. Almost all of my parents were accepting of their child’s performance and shortcomings. That is the intended purpose of parent/teacher conferences. It was a pleasure to meet them. But there was one… a parent that was not so accepting. The not so stellar performance of her child, in her opinion, was my fault. Her child’s lack of motivation was not the problem. My giving him the grade he earned would affect his future so I had better change it. Telling her the student could correct the grade by performing as expected was not received well. It was completely up to her student.. Again, I appreciate parents that advocate for their child but she did more than that. So much more.

Apparently, she believes her husband’s rank is hers to wear and wield as she sees fit. I cannot respect someone who uses a spouse’s position to have an advantage over someone else. There are benefits that come with a spouse’s rank. I will not lie and I enjoy them as they come, thoroughly: a special parking space, a nice club, access to special places, etc. Those benefits do not allow one to exercise control of someone else you see as less than yourself.

This woman attempted to intimidate me with her husband’s rank. There were a couple of problems with her strategy. First, her husband is a Lieutenant aboard my husband’s former ship who I know well and have always been friendly with. He has asked several times what he could do to help his student. I am not confident he would approve of me changing grades at his wife’s whim. Second, she told me her husband would sort me out, but he was away right now. I sympathized with her and told her I understood since my husband was the captain of a destroyer and is away a lot too. (see what I did there?)

After about 5 min, I stopped her and turned to the student. I asked him if he thought he could be doing more, even if it’s on his own, and he said that he could. I told him I thought so, too. This seemed to cool the mother a bit hearing from her own student’s mouth that he had not been fully applying himself. I thanked them for coming in and moved on to the next parents.

The next day at school, I told him that I thought he was a great person who had very much potential but that he was going to have to make things happen for himself. Do not rely on someone else to make your life a little easier. He totally understood what I meant. Now it is only to see if he took it to heart.