Exercise

 I am sure Chao lei believes me crazy. Today we left the house for a walk. I did not intend such a lengthy one. Jared is not home so our talks are on Skype or email. Today was Skype and it did not go well. One would think that being separated for such a long length of time, all would be harmony. It was… not so at the beginning of this call.

The call began as they all do; rounding up the children, rushing to the computer, and getting everything on and ready. Then the ring, the screen comes on and… no Jared. For a solid three minutes we stare at is back wall hearing nothing. Chao lei is confused as am I. June is looking to me as if I have somehow hidden daddy from her. After the long silence, Jared finally appears and sits in his chair still saying nothing while looking in a drawer I assume the children a screaming for daddy but he would not answer.

When he finally looked to his screen he saw us and stuck his index finger up telling us to wait. After another few moments, the sound crackled and we could now hear him. He greeted “Little Man” first and then June. He talked to them for a few minutes. Apparently, I had developed a scowl on my face because he finally spoke to me and asked what was wrong? Have you thought what could possibly have been at this point? He did not.

Ten minutes into this call and I had yet to be addressed. No “I love you”, no “Hello.” Nothing. I told him so and he denied it. Even Chao lei said “Nuh uh.” Then Jared …… rolled his eyes.. “You obviously did not hear me.”

Normally, I am slow to get angry in most circumstances. I was not this time. I Huffed (I thought fire came from my nose) arose and set the kids in the chair and stormed away from the computer muttering to myself. I left the children to finish their time with daddy.

I feel a little guilty for what I did next now. When he was finished with the children he asked for me. I returned to the computer and shut it down without a word. I would not speak to someone that believed me a liar or one who may not hear properly, I thought to myself.

I gathered the children and we abruptly went for a walk. Walks are a wonderful thing. Sometimes more wonderful than we believe they can be.

The walk lasted a long while. So long, Chao lei protested that he was tired, not loudly at first. Being in my own thoughts I did not hear him. When I did finally hear his pleas, we had walk a distance so I turned around to return home. When  we finally did arrive, I realized we had walk a considerable distance. I checked my  phone to see we had walked 30,000 steps. My poor child and my poor back. June had been on my back the entire walk.

My poor husband had been the target on my sensitivity.  The long walk helped me to think perhaps I did not hear Jared speak at me though I am sure he did not. Many things are always going on aboard a ship. Any one of those things could be the cause of such an omission. At any rate, I was feeling guilty.

I opened the computer to see if he was still online. He was not but I saw seven attempts to call me. UGH! I am horrible. I’ll try again tomorrow.I will be glad when he is home and I can see his intention better so I can know when blazing nostrils are warranted and when I am simply not paying attention.

But I did get some good excercise so all was not lost.