Tis the season for deployments.
It is the Navy. You likely knew the time was coming. You may have been wishing you would be the
exception or that it was all a bad dream. You watch your SO lace up his boots,
grab his sea bag and you swallow that knot in your throat. There is so much
silence! Then you get everything and everyone loaded up and head to the ship.
It is the shortest long drive you have ever made. It is dark – why do they always have
to leave so early? Then, kisses are done (mine is the last) and the drop off is complete so you head
home. Now, the first day of deployment. What now? How do you manage? What do
you do with yourself? What about all these emotions bottling up?
I am not going to pretend or tell you it is easy. I will be
honest telling you the first day is rough.
It is not the end of the world though. Here are 7 tips to not just survive deployment but to thrive during it.
Prep the Night Before
Plan what your day will look like. Maybe you have errands to
run, children to get off to school or a job to get to. Setting out your clothes
sounds so simple but it relieves stress not making that decision so early in
the morning and every little bit of stress reduction helps. Set out everything
you will need tomorrow. Having a plan in place that you use to stay moving
through your first day helps make the transition a little easier.
Go Back to Sleep
Depending on your schedule, going back to sleep can
sometimes be what helps you. Not only does it help pass the time quickly, but
it also can give you that “fresh start” when you wake back up. A cautionary
word: do not sleep the day away. Set an alarm to wake back up and get moving.
Get Moving
After Jared got underway for the 3rd deployment, I
immediately went to the gym. I was pregnant with June, so I dropped off Chao
lei at the school and walked my normal morning path. Exercise helps get the endorphins
flowing to help improve your moods throughout the day. Deployments are the
perfect time to set some sort of fitness goal to accomplish. Beginning to work
for that goal on day 1 can set the tone for the entire deployment!
Phone A Friend
Your people are there for you. They are there to laugh with,
to cry with, and to help manage the day-to-day aspects of life. Do not isolate
yourself. If you have no people handy, do not be afraid to go out and find your
people. These people (your tribe) are important because they help to fill any
void for companionship. They give us a sense of belonging. Exactly what we need
during a deployment, especially the first day!
Get Outside
There is almost nothing as therapeutic than going outside
and spending time in nature. Even if your outside time is limited by weather,
schedule, or pandemic, work on being as close to it as possible. Sit by an open
window, do some deep breaths to really soak in the fresh air, close your eyes
and enjoy. If it is sunny, soak it up. If you can combine this with some
physical exercise (walk/run maybe) even better!
Have a Yes Day
Are you feeling like some ice cream for dinner? Do the kids
want to go to the park? Maybe have a pajama day? Setting aside the first day of
deployment as a YES day can help you remain positive. Plus, once you fill your
cup, going back to “real life” won’t feel so gloomy in the end. Just make sure
it does not continue past day one. Day two must return to the reality of the
life you have chosen. A few more scattered YES days throughout the deployment
can really help break up the time apart from your loved one.
Have a Good Cry
The first day is not going to be fun, or easy. You will find that you may see small things about the house, such as their razor forgotten on the bathroom
counter, and you may think he will need that and begin to remind him before he leaves only to realize
he is already gone. Your emotions are completely valid and It is ok to cry! But
once you have a good cry, it is time to move on. That does not mean you will
not be sad throughout the deployment but know that dwelling on it is not
healthy. So cry and then move on.
You got this!
That first day can be tough. You may feel you are ready for
deployment, but one really never fully is. The first day can make a lot of
difference in getting through that first day. How you do it depends on your
planning
Most importantly, remember, you are not alone.
Congratulations! That is the first day. Now, on to the rest!
YES to the "yes day!" That is such a great idea and such a stress-reliever during those first weeks and when you're tired and worn out! I couldn't agree more with this!
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