Father and Coastie

I would suppose I should tell you of Mother's thoughts first.

Mother is concerned. Coastie is not Chinese. Her question is how is a man that is not Chinese to know what is a Chinese woman and see to her needs. It is a reasonable question. If I were a second generation in America I would be more what he is accustomed to in the manner I think. Since I am not, there is little to guide his choices. I have assured Mother, Coastie is a very intelligent man and will adapt to me as I will to him.

While she was not mean or insulting of him, there was a tenseness when they were together. Mother will love him in time. She only wishes for me good things.

Father was my surprise. He greeted Coastie warmly as he would a friend. In my presence Father asked only of his work and his desires of the future in it. Here I discovered my coastie will be a "lifer." This term was explained to Father and I since the empty stares on our faces indicated we did not know the meaning of lifer. It is to say he will retire from the Coast Guard.

This thought both excited me and caused me worry. I am excited because I enjoy visiting the ocean very much. It causes me worry that if I live at the ocean, will it not lose some of the magic it holds for me? Will I see it as the forest, the beauty there still but the special thoughts of it gone since it is what I see every day? Will it become common for me?

Father withheld other "more important" questions until I was not present. I had to threaten to push my Coastie off of a dock at my earliest convenience if he did not tell me of them. I am sure there are some still that he withholds.

Father asked the usual questions a father will ask the potential husband of his daughter. How will he support me, will he care for me, is it serious thoughts or only a game to be played, when does he intend to marry.

An interesting question was asked of my Coastie. Father asked him, "Why?" He wondered why Coastie has considered me as a bride. His answer I intently awaited and closely listened to. "So far," he said, "she is what will complete my life. She makes me happy. I can see growing old with her very easily." It was a good answer for Father and a mostly acceptable answer for me but I must investigate the "So far" portion more closely.

Father did not care for the idea of leaving my house. He questioned if this was a serious consideration and said it would be best to let it until we returned to it in full time. Father was discussing that with the incorrect party. It is my house and will remain so. Perhaps that is the Chinese in father that he assumes my husband will decide of my house and the emerging American from me reminding him it will not be my husband's to dispose of.

If one were to conjecture of the outcome of their meeting, I would say it was successful. The idea of an American husband for me seems acceptable for Father. Mother? I can not see it as otherwise for it is her nature to be accepting though it may require a small amount of time to pass for her to become accustomed to it.

Of course, the "So far" comment may give her some small hope I may yet have a Chinese husband.