Military Minute: On or Off

Do you prefer on- or off-post living, and why?



My preference for where I live is offpost.


When I am CONUS, housing is usually much better than what is on-base. There is variety in styles. This is important to me. I do not wish to live in a house that is a duplicate of another. Base housing tends to be a repetitive style. I prefer my house to be unique, inside and out. The cost is not usually very expensive. There is, at the least, a sense of “normal” living. And the rules are not as restrictive off-base as is on-base.


When I am OCONUS, my preference remains off-base, but conditions may influence where we live. The last tour in Japan, we began off-base. I loved my house. It was so beautiful. Its location made it impractical. It was far from the base. Jared wished to be closer but gave me my choice. It was unfair since he is the one who was required to drive so far, every day. Also, the distance to an American hospital proved later to be an important consideration. Its cost made it near unaffordable; almost $4000 per month. There was much I gave up living there. A move on-base was considered appropriate.


I cannot condemn the apartment towers that became our home. They were large and well-arranged but for us they were too much. A three-bedroom apartment has more space than can be used. Growing up in China has given me the tendency to prefer small homes that have plenty of room but not so much it is wasted. Giving birth to Chao lei helped us use more space but a two-bedroom apartment would have been more appropriate.


For this tour, we are off-base, and I cannot foresee a reason to live elsewhere. The location of our new house is very close to the base. I can walk to the gate in ten minutes, less if I am hurried. The rent is reasonable. A plus to living here is I am not required to play the politics. I can leave that on-base and live relaxed and peaceful with no worries of who my neighbor is and what rank they are. If you come to my house, please leave your rank on-base.


I do not intend to make our time here as horrible. It is the opposite. There are wonderful things to do, places to go and people to know. It is only easier to live when one minimizes the silly games some “adults” insist on playing. Living off-base allows me to do that.


If conditions are such that we find it necessary to move on-base, I will do as I need to and adapt to it. I can recreate the shelter from most all that is negative again. All that is important to me is I am where my family is. Everything else can be overcome but my preference remains to live off-base.

The Military Minute: Favorite & Least Favorite Parts of Military Life

I have been married to the Navy for 9 years as of today. I have had many good things and a few bad but my most favorite thing of the Navy is the life it provides me and my family. I have been forced to live outside my comfort zone.

Being Chinese, I was raised with certain beliefs of how a woman is to live and it is not as most American women have been raised to believe. In my beginning of living in America I lived as any woman who is unmarried lived. After my wedding, I attempted to continue living as I believed would be expected. I cared for my house and my husband. But soon we were sent to Japan with him being at sea often. I struggled in the beginning. It is not that I was alone. It was not the first time. It was not the first time alone in a country that was not mine. It was many new rules and the very different lifestyle imposed by the military. It is difficult to be taught for your entire life what a Chinese wife is to be then be in a place where that is no longer a truth. Since I had no choice, I had to learn how to live as a Navy wife. I had to learn a new way of living. Looking back, I would have it no other way and am grateful for the experience. I have grown to be more than what mother taught me. Not better than what she taught, only more. I continue to grow.

My least favorite part is probably a most common dislike. It is my husband’s often departures to sea. Even that is not the worst part. The worst is that I do not know when or what duration I must endure. We have only recently returned to Japan but two days after my arrival Jared departed and was gone for three weeks. I know there is another underway soon, “exact date TBA.”

Since I know I am not alone in my dislike of my husband’s time away I will speak of my second most disliked thing of military life, politics. Politics among the dependents/ranks is annoying. They are cliquish first. I understand some is inevitable. I do not care for being told who I should and should not have as a friend. In Florida it was not as evident but overseas it is obvious. Because my husband is a Commander I am discouraged, not forbidden mind you, only discouraged from associating with enlisted spouses. Why? I understand fraternization rules for him, but I am not a Commander. I have compromised since my behavior can affect him, but I still do not care for it. I keep the “proper” relationship with families of the ship’s crew as best I am able, but all others are my business.

I also do not care for “wearing a spouse’s rank.” Perhaps it is because I do not know how to wield such perceived power effectively. I believe it is because I do not wish to. I am proud of my husband for his choice of career and I will fiercely defend him from those who believe otherwise but I choose not to believe that his position somehow betters my own. His position offers me a good life and I enjoy that life, but I am satisfied with who I am. Respect I receive is respect I have earned and is not dependent on another.

Despite good and bad, I would trade this life I have chosen for no other.