I have never thought of myself as a negative person. I tend to be positive in most situations. But there is a reality I must deal with often while living this Navy life. Negative self-talk. It has a way of getting inside your head. The tired and weary thoughts become commonplace. Before long, you are wondering if military life is really for you.
Some days, you genuinely want to quit. I mean, with all the deployments, PCS moves and career challenges, who would not want to quit at some point? Quite often, I feel like I am a single parent that has a boyfriend that occasionally visits and believes he has an opinion of raising children that matters.
This is exactly why shifting my perception is so important; it is my path to thriving. Tired is always going to be there. Yes, weary too. They are inescapable. Dwelling on them simply makes my life miserable. Our children suffer enough without me adding to their stresses.
What is needed is a simple, yet highly effective way to remember the important things. To help me remember what I am capable of. To know that I have totally got this. Even when it feels like I can not breathe.
This is my solution. Simple and looks over-simplified. Perhaps it is but there is science behind it and it has proven effective for me.
Positive affirmation cards. They have helped me stay on track and feel encouraged on those really tough days. I put them on my bedroom mirror, in my car and inside my purse. Each time I see the affirmation, I close my eyes and say it aloud three times.
When I first began, it seemed rather silly but I was determined to give an honest effort. After about a month, I felt less stressed, more content with military life, and most importantly, I started to shift my perception. Instead of tidal waves crashing over me, I saw a few ripples in the water.
When Jared announced another trip, I hesitated, but I did not carry around the frustration for days afterward that I used to.
That was a huge positive change for me. I now recommend to any spouse who tells me of the inevitable exhaustion of the op tempo to do at least try this method. I even offer up my cards to print on their own computers.
I know it sounds overly simple but sometimes, simple is the answer to overcome the complicated.
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