What Is It Like?

 

I was asked what to expect when the ship returns home. Is it a great time of homecoming? What can I expect?

I believe we have all seen the picture postcard videos of homecomings on the internet. They seem to be the most joyous occasions. Those videos do not tell of the realities of many, in my case most, homecomings.

The crazy thing about them is you never know when it will be. The date and time changes so much that you are tempted to give up and forget about the whole thing by the time it actually happens.

Most times I received phone calls saying a time only for it not to happen. Then more calls with dates and times that never happened. What do you call a military homecoming that happens when it is supposed to? A miracle.

Homecoming rarely happens when they say it will. Waiting and waiting and dates changing and more waiting. Finally, you get a call at 11 pm saying the ship has docked and they were ready to unload, which meant my husband would be ready for pick up around 2 o’clock in the morning.

I know those in charge of such things do not care that I am dragging my children out of bed at 2 am to go pick up my husband. But 2 am doesn’t exactly speak of a picture perfect reunion to me. Rather it screams tired momma sans make up, kids dressed in pajamas who barely comprehend what is happening, and a service member who is ready to eat a home-cooked meal and sleep in his own bed.

What was my last homecoming like? Called at 11pm and ready to pick up my husband at 2 am, Chao lei, Jun, and I patiently sat in my car in the middle of a dark parking lot. Jun was patiently oblivious to what we were doing in a parking lot or mostly asleep. Who could tell? I was barely awake. My pregnant belly was now 3 times bigger than when my husband last saw me.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Then the door opened. I knew everything was going to be okay the moment our eyes met. We smiled. We said nothing. Instead, we simply gave each other “the look.” It’s the look where you both know you’ve done this way too many times before. It’s the look where all the frustration and annoyance vanishes and you remember you love them and you simply feel their love. It’s the look where you know you’re in this for the long haul.

After a good 10 seconds of silence, Chao lei shouted, “DAD!”

Jared shouted, “Hey Buddy! It’s so good to see you!”

And then, he hopped in the car and we went home. It was as simple and ordinary as it sounds. But our hearts felt a love so enormous words were not necessary. We were together again, and that’s all that mattered.

Are they picture perfect, carefully choreographed events?  Sometimes but usually no. Hang in there. It can be challenging and messy. It is definitely not like the movies. But it is so worth it.