Why I Will Miss My Neighbor

Living off-base in Japan has its disadvantages. One is weaving through traffic just to get on base for work, shopping or anything that is necessary. Another is cost. It is not only rent that is expensive. The utilities are not inexpensive. A quick trip to a local store for a forgotten, much needed item is not convenient or cheap.

But there are things that make it worthwhile living off base. My neighbors are the greatest thing that keeps me living off base. One such neighbor is an elderly Japanese woman the children have become very close to. That is in part because she dotes on them as if they were her own grandchildren. She offers them small treats often. One would believe they are solving all the world’s problems by observing the often-lengthy conversations they have. We call her Sobo (grandmother).

She is a generous person to Jared and I. She has given me valuable advice many times about what to see around our neighborhood; little known festivals, the best street vendors to go to and ones to avoid. If one were to search the dictionary for the term “good neighbor” they would likely find her picture. A more generous person would be difficult to find.

One instance of her generosity was shown after June did what she does. I did not go to the commissary before our trip to Xi’an so the pantry was somewhat bare but not empty. The afternoon after we returned the children were hungry and asked for lunch. I innocently replied that we would have to buy some lunch since we had no food in the house. How was I supposed to know June would take that literally? She went outside and it seemed something caught Sobo’s attention, so she asked June if there was something wrong. Standing at the window, I heard June’s reply; “There is no food in our house, and we are hungry.”

Before I could get outside, Sobo had disappeared into her house only to emerge with a small bag of grocery items to make lunch with. Before I could say anything, I was being scolded for not telling her sooner that we had no food. As I tried to explain that was not the case she said “Sometimes we all need help. It is nothing to be ashamed of.” I was finally able to explain that June had simply taken what I had said too literally. She seemed to accept my explanation then said, “We will go make lunch now.” And she took her bag into my kitchen and began to prepare lunch. It was not a fancy meal, but it was the best meal. It was a little difficult to eat though. Kare raisu is delicious but difficult to swallow when one is wiping the occasional tear from one’s eye while attempting to keep the curry out of it.

June and I had our discussion of how her revelation to Sobo was inappropriate, but I did not scold her for it. I am rather pleased with the results. It is not often one receives such a gift of friendship as this one. When we leave Japan, I will miss her terribly. It is likely our phone calls will continue. We will post letters (she does not own a computer). She will remain Sobo. The children will be reminded of her often though I believe there will be little done by me to remind them. They will do so with no prompting by me.

I would have missed out on having such a friend had I allowed myself to be convinced of moving on base as I did the last tour. My children would have missed the intense exposure to a culture different from theirs and the opportunity to add pieces of it to their own. My family has been enriched because of this.

We have a year ± before this tour is complete. While I eagerly anticipate our next assignment, there is some regret of this one ending because we will leave so much behind. I pray that we are as enriched by the next assignment as we were by this one.

PS Jared is talking with his detailer. The list of next assignments gets shorter. We will see soon.